SuBRABia

Authentication Day (Not entirely a disaster)

2012-02-03T18:15:00.000-08:00

Outside the Consulate with our second "number" for service.

Six thirty this morning, no need for an alarm clock, the dudlings begin stirring. The eldest informs me he only half way peed his pants and the youngest, well, he always pees his. Despite actually not being sick anymore the youngest became so used to fussing and grumbling in general that he spent the morning perfecting his already remarkable whine. It sounds a bit like a laughing hyena that has a splinter. Its awful. Two yogurts spills, one gigantic fit over Momma pouring the wrong cereal, and a lost diaper later I started to just step over him laying on the floor in protest. Walk, walk, step over Finn, walk on, breath, walk, step back over him and continue. It worked and we finally got out the door with at least three out of the four of us wearing underwear.

The trip to Grandmas was easy breezy. I read, Jason drove, the boys hunted for trucks and trains. The drop off was a pretty quick pull up, hop out, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, goodbye and we were off to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago.

Fifty miles down the road I go back to read our instructional papers again. Now, please understand, these are like reading a foriegn language if you have not already experienced this. I have read them umpteen times and I suddenly catch a line about the Chinese consulate ONLY being able to authenticate documents from a select few states. I read on, panic setting in. Just last week we were postponed a week when the certified copy of my Ohio birth certificate had to be sent back to Ohio for certification (again). This consulate...the one we are now seventy five miles closer too...can not process two of our documents. Suddenly, our complete and soon to be dossier is not complete. Calls were made to our agency.

We decide to proceeds, we are mere miles outside of Chicago anyway and we just needed the satisfaction of at least one portion of our dossier out of our hands. Enter the consulate...they have moved locations. Find the new one....enter the consulate again, they are on lunch.

Ok, deep breath. Lunch break, smunch break.

We ate some hamburgers and fries and really good gaucemole at the bistro across the street and ran back over right as they opened. Papers organized, our number was called, our hands squeezed together and we handed over our mostly completed dossier for authentication.

Only to have it thrown back at us.

Let me repeat. The lady behind the counter THREW IT at us.

Threw it.

Then a series of really hard to understand( because the mosty broken microphone behind the glass mixed with the workers attitude of absoulte apathy) instructions came pouring through a loud speaker at us.

They wanted three copies of our dossier. We looked over, there was a copy machine in the room but it looked exactly like the one Jason remembers using when he was an elementary student. It was a monster and expensive and frankly we did not have the hundreds of dimes we would have needed for that transaction.

Out of the consulate we trod. "I need coffee.", the only words spoken. My hand in his this man I love walked me straight into a starbucks and came back to my side with a venti bold in his hands. Another call to our agency was made.

This time we were thinking that we would just go to a fed-ex, pay the $800 for our agency to process our dossier, send it to them immediately and be done with it.

But, we had driven all that way to save time and money......

New plan. Instead of doing same day processing for seven hundred something dollars we would submit our papers for five day processing and pay only three hundred. We would provide them with a pre-paid envelope to send the authenticated papers straight to our agency. In the mean time we would have the other two papers (out of state ones) sent to D.C. and then they would all arrive about the same time to be sent to China. The plan was flawless.....AS LONG AS....the consulate would mail the dossier for us.

Jason ran to Fed-EX with our dossier to begin what he calls, "Copying so fast and wildly that his fingers hurt".

I ran three blocks away to the consulate to see if they would mail our papers.

Wait...wait...wait...my number called. The dossier throwing lady was busy, got a slightly more human person this time. Yes, they would mail it. They do it often. No problem. BUT, they will only mail it if we pay with a money order.

Money order?

And here is where things get crazy.

It is 2:10. The consulate closes, doors locked and bolted at 2:30.

And, we need a money order!

Out the doors I run, and I mean run and the thing is I do not run so this is a big deal. Into a bank, no money orders for non customers, but they were kind and pointed me the direction of the post office. Four blocks, two wrong turns, and a line later I had the money order and was again running down the road.

Jason and his hurting fingers are still copying the dossier. Its a huge file of documents, stapled together and none of them can get unstapled and crinkled or its invalid. Old ladies are getting knocked down by me, cars are honking, people are staring....ok, so maybe not but I was running and it sure felt that way. Into the main bulding, up the elevator (wrong floor, try again), swooping through the consulate doors heaving for breath and sweating and grasping that money order so tight that I am numb. No Jason. Clock ticking. No Jason. Our numbers comes up on the screen. Calling B323. I stand to try and stall. I can be tell a joke or something, right? Inside I am panicking. Breathing prayers, trying to calm my heart.

Never have I been so happy to see those brown faithful shoes and familiar blue sweater running down the hallway and through the doors. We were the last customers of the day, the door was locked.

And, its here that one might think "Victory!"....they did it...a mad rush...a wild ride....but it all worked out.

Keep reading.

Money order handed over. Dossier (with copies!) handed over. Both of us are flushed, exhausted, confused and yet our hands touch and I am grounded.

Paper by paper is but into the acceptable pile. And, then...one is handed back, and then another, and yet again a third. The tears could not be held back. They started gushing.

I heard once it is entirely unacceptable to blow your nose in public in China. All I kept thinking was that I was probably offending the man behind the counters with my emotions and snot and salty tears and flushed face. The notary's on all three of those papers were rejected, despite having been approved (and paid for) by the the Secretary of State of Illinois just days before.

New notaries were required.

He said it first. And, I am glad. Jason simply said, "Ok."

"Ok, we will send the rest of the papers for authentication and these three can be done over and sent later this week. Ok."

There were a lot of "Ok's" spoken between the man behind the glass and us.

Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.

And, then he frowned. Now the money order was the wrong amount, by a lot.

The only way to send these documents and have them processed now the way we were doing (our last chance!) was with that money order.

He looked at my tears. He looked at Jason. There was a long, long, long pause.

"Ok.", he said. "You write check."

And, we did. Then we left. Walked down the busy Chicago streets, past Mussie's favorite restraunt, past the hotel Finn was given first life, passed the parking garage......

Back track, find the car, circle around the parking garage (even that seems difficult). We stopped outside of the city at a gas station and laughed out loud at one another as we met mid-aisle both arms stuffed wtih drinks and snacks we would otherwise pass up on.

We gorged on potato chips and looked forward to seeing the boys, and thanked God for the consulate man's compassion, and watched this tremendous sunset over the mud soaked corn fields.

The exhuastion did not rush away, the tired feet and fingers and overworked mind remained. The file folder at my feet still contained pieces of a dossier we thought would have been off to China by now. But, the sun set beautifully and the papers in the file folder seemed so small.

"Doing what we have to do.", Jason said with a smile as we drove off into the sunset......

Things do not have to work out as planned, or even at all, to embrace the day and give thanks.

(UPDATE: So, its Friday. Today after co-op the boys and I raced all around town. We were able to fix all the papers with notary problems, get them certified yet again by the State Department, pick up the money order, make copies at Fed Ex and have them all sent off to Washington DC. So I can officially announce that I feel a zillion pounds lighter to have that dossier off of my desk and being processed for China! The boys ate candy and played with my chapstick, literally decorating their faces and arms with it in Fed-Ex as a form of entertainment. I wish I had a picture, but there was no time in between copying this crazy huge document, filling out the right mailing forms and chasing their slippery sugar pumped bodies through the stationary isles......Moose said tonight after watching a movie, "Man, today has been relaxing......" And, on that note I am going to bed.)

WhoooHooo!!!

2012-01-19T18:35:00.000-08:00

Got home, late.
Carried two sleeping boys in and tucked them in bed.
Stood in bathroom to take out contacts because my eyes were blurry and tired.
Jason slumped next to me and went through the mail.

An envelope caught my eye. Heart beat quickened.
Nope, shoulders slumped. Just a fancy looking envelope with nothing much inside.

"Looking for this?", he grinned and pulled from behind his back the one single envelope we have been madly, wildly, prayerfully anticipating.

Nan Ling Ling's immigration approval came today.
Tomorrow everything is autheniticated here in the Capital.
Then, off to Chicago for the Chinese Consulate authenitcation.

And, next week....the papers finally go to China.

Four to Six months is the estimate from today.

WHOOO-WHOOOO!!! Tears. Tears. Tears of Joy!

Happy Birthday Pictures!

2012-01-18T05:16:00.000-08:00

Nannie looks so healthy, her hair is growing in and her sweet front teeth have come. These pictures are remarkable and they bring us so much joy and hope! She turned two last Tuesday, the cake and things behind her were sent by us through Anne's Red Thread. Oh, how precious these pictures are to us!

2012-01-17T19:19:00.000-08:00

The other day someone told me that we have all of these ions in our body and that we need to walk with barefeet on the earth, skin to dirt, in order to balance out our ions...or something like that. In the garage today I was searching for a nail because I am endlessly making holes in the walls hanging pictures and rearranging in order to find something that works, a balance between beauty and functionality.... anyway I was in the garage with barefeet and my toes and heels and arches were freezing, numb, and all I could think of as I looked for the nail was that my ions must have been going crazy on that concret floor in the middle of winter. My toes longed for grass. And, so outside I ran feet in the buff to the mailbox, savoring every bit of grass and stick and mud clump underneath my feet. That immigration paper that we have been waiting for was still not there.

Bill. Advertisement. AAA Living Magazine. No immigration paper.

Perhaps it was the dirt in my toes charging my ions and creating balace in my nervous system, or perhaps it was the way the cold earth tingled against my feet reminding me how silly I can be sometimes, but either way my heart did not sink, my grin did not fade.

I was barefoot in January standing at my mailbox. Beneath my toes, buried below my eye's sight, seeds and bulbs and fruits of the summer wait, prepare, store away safely and gently and miracuosly. They wait because if in their eagerness they pushed through the earth now, surely they would not thrive. They wait because they are strengthened underneath in the warmth of the earthen blanket. They wait because they must. I can only imagine those little seeds yearing for the summer sun, being pulled towards the top soil, ready to fight gravity and brave the elements for a chance to blossom. And, yet as much as they were created to blossom they were also created to wait for that day.

And, so was I. Waiting is a part of the story. Even though I can not see it happening beneath the winter earth lay evidence of summer's glory. My toes tingle with the cold as I ran back to my house, empty handed but not empty hearted. Even though I may not always see it happening, beneath the wait for Nan lay evidence of God's glory in this story.

This is my year of, "Kick of your Shoes For you are standing on Holy Ground". It is my year of being aware of God's presence and activity and blessings. It is the year where my only "resolution" is to not stand in a stupor before a burning bush with Moses, but to kick off my shoes and acknowledge the God that I love. The grass was mightly chilly today, but not nearly as bitter as the concrete garage floor.

Shoes off, wind whipped, toes tingling....Oh how good it is to know that summers story is already in motion right underneath my feet.

A Big Piece of Communion Bread

2012-01-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

Thursday night, I cried.
Friday, I kept it in mostly because we had company.
Saturday night, I cried.
Sunday morning, I cried. Church time, I sat in the pews holding Finn and feeling the gentle way that he rubs my arms and plays mindlessly with my fingers. He turns back and smiles at me every few minutes to watch me singing and every now and then he finds it hilarious to shove his fist into my mouth and see me try to keep up with the lyrics. I love this. I look forward to this time with Finn each and every Sunday, still tears fell.
We sang, ".......God is good, he is good all the time....."
We sang, ".....He can move the mountains...."

And, when those words escaped my heart and poured out of my mouth I felt them. I trembled.
For days I have wept, heaviness on my heart, the ever present tears at home right below the surface of my smile. Nan Ling Ling is turning two years old tomorrow....in an orphanage....while we are here waiting on paperwork. Oh, how that hurts. How it angers and frustrates and weighs heavily.
I have prayed, and yet we wait.
I have sobbed, sending up my heart to the Lord, and yet we wait.
I have surrendered, and yet we wait.
And, it stings like the winter wind on bare skin. It blows and beats against my soul making me feel raw to the core.
Raw and yet I know that God is good, and he is good all the time.
Exhausted and yet I know that God is good, and he is good all the time.
Angry and yet I know that God is good, and he is good all the time.

As I walked down the isle with Moose in front of me and Jason behind me I felt like I must have been shaking in my shoes. We were taking steps to the altar for communion and physically there was pain for me as I walked forward. Trusting in God's plan, exclaiming 'God is good all the time', reaching out to take the wine, it all took effort. And, yet my body and my soul and my mind wanted to take those steps. My entire being longed to walk that isle and participate in communion with this God, this God who has not forsaken me, or my child.

Moose took his bread first. He had already looked back and asked me when he could watch a movie (gotta love a kids timing). I reached forward and took my piece of bread. He looks at my piece and then back to his own. Loud and clear, his sweet little voice spoke up. "Mommy, you got a bigger piece. I think you took two!"

I don't know if I hushed him or not. I do know that I grinned ear to ear.
In my heart I heard a familiar voice, not auditory, and yet so clearly communicated to my inner most being.
"Take two pieces, Katie. Take as much of me as you want. You will never take too much. You can never take too much communcion with me. All of me is yours. Eat. Eat. Eat. Drink. Drink. Drink. I will sustain you."

And, so even though the paper work is going slower than molasses and even though Nannie will turn two years old in an orphanage and even though I still cry at night in the quiet as I lay next to Jason who simply holds me calmly and strongly and even though there is pain in the steps I take daily as I commune with the Lord....even though....God is good and he is good all the time.

Walking down the isle hurt, but it tasted so good. The laughter tasted good. The whisper of the Lord to my soul reminding me through my five year old that he desires me come to Him, to share with Him, to take as much as I needed...that tasted good.

So, I am. I am taking two. I am eating and drinking of the Lord more than ever before. And, the hurt is ok because it is intertwined with joy, sweet hopeful precious joy.

Nan Ling Ling, our Guinevere, you turn two years old tomorrow. We will have cake. We will sing for you. We will blow out candles and celebrate you. My wish, of course, will be for you to come home sooner than we expect. And, you will come home and then I can give you cake and presents and hugs and kisses.
But, mostly I want you to know this story. This little seemingly insignificant story.
You have had pain in your life that Mommy will never understand. There has been and will be pain for you as you walk forward, as you grow, and as you take and eat the love of the Lord. Take those steps anyway. Reach out for the bread of life, even if it seems difficult. Joy can live and abound and transform even in the presence of pain.

I will tell you again tomorrow, but let me your ever hopeful and eager Momma be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday. You are loved.

This picture was taken moments before Finn had his siezures and went unconcious. I had no idea the fear and pain that was going to take over mere moments from this picture. I took double in the minutes and days to follow his siezures too. And, it was that bread and wine and communion which was a balm to my raw being.
On this day, this terrible day, God was good.

God is good, all the time.

As we wait, God is good.

Heart Outpouring

2012-01-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

Ling Ling is waiting in China. She does not know she is waiting and that thought comforts me. We long for her, count down the days, and anticipate her in our conversation and planning. We ask questions like, where will she sit at the table? will her car set fit in the middle? will she like the vacation we have planned for the fall? And so we know that change is coming. We wait.

She survives. And, for this I am grateful. Although I pray for her sweet heart to be prepared bit by bit for the coming of her family I am grateful that she does not miss us yet. I could not bare that thought.

If you have ever wondered what it is like to be an adoptive mother here is a little bit of an insight. A small one, perhaps.

In the car earlier this week I found myself talking to Momma Gamo. A woman birthed my son and I wonder if she lives. I wonder if she wonders, if she ever thinks of him. And, in the car the other day I was so overcome with gratitude for my children that I wanted her, I needed her to know how absolutely positively magnificent he is.

"And, you know...", I continued..."he makes this face when he is thinking that can melt a heart, and he is the most tender big brother, and he loves the Lord and thanks Him for things like protection and laughter and chicken fingers." Days come and go and then some days come when I remember that if she is alive she might want to know with all of her heart and soul and might that the little baby she birthed is ok, more than ok, he is thriving and he can read and he loves to write letters to his friends and decorate them wtih car stickers. And, tomorrow he is going on his first ever big boy playdate without me and he is so excited that he keeps telling his baby brother about it while still sweetly saying, "But, I promise Bubba will be back and we will play trains Little Buddy."

Would't that be the stuff you would want to know? If Momma Gammo and I talked, if I could ever know, then today I would tell her that he got a Marshmellow Gun in the mail from his Aunt Karen and he has gone around all day shooting the household with Marshmellows and eating an entire bag with a goofy sticky grin and a slightly taller stance as the marshmellow gun means for him that he is older and braver and somehow more of a man, a man with a marshmellow gun and he knows how to use it.

And, then there is Nannie.

In the midst of wondering if her car seat would fit and if she would be able to wear shoes after her surgery I began to wonder if we had enough clothes for her. We have been bit by bit collecting sweet little pieces and preparing her room. The last piece of paper that we are waiting on from immigration has still not come. I can not control that, but I can go through clothing and prepare and so I do. A half and hour later I called my dearest friend sobbing and apologziing for the call at such a late hour. She did not care. She never does. I sobbed.

"These dresses are to small. They are all too small. All these dresses for her that we have are too small now and she never got a chance to wear them."

I cried because the stupid immigration paper is not here yet. I cried because my baby girl is in an orphanage when we are here in a warm home filled with cookies and clean sheets and perfectly wild brothers. I cried because I had boxed those dresses up and imaged her in them only to now realize that would never come to be. I cried because these moments of her life are passing, moments that I will never get to know as intimately and dearly as I have with Finn the baby that I have birthed and witnessed each and every mind blowing day since. Mussie has taught me that it is ok, painful, but ok to have missed those days. That even without the knowledge of birth and memories and habits and experiences, even without knowing the story of your own precious child, you can walk forward together and forge a deep and loving and permanent bond from which more joy will come than ever imagined. Yet, what I wouldn't give for a baby picture to hang on the wall of him next to his little brother. What a treasure it would be to know if he had a head of curly hair and if he fell asleep nursing on his mothers breast. These are not every day thoughts, not at all, in fact they come only now and then like in moments such as this when I am thinking of my daughter in China who is experiencing a day that I have no idea about.

I can tell you everything my boys did today. But, my daughter...I do not even know if someone touched her. And, that hurts. A lot.

There will be no baby picture for her either, and ultimately that is going to be ok. Every day we spend together from the moment we walk out of the orphanage will make that ok, even it we all mourn that from time to time.

I am so glad she does not miss us now. But, those too small dresses pushed me over the edge as we wait for that one piece of paper. I sobbed. I can't seem to stop. I hold the boys, read to them, pray with them, play trains and cars and chase, and the tears come rushing to my eyes....but they are tears of a two equally strong emotions.

I AM A MOTHER FULLY BLESSED. I HAVE A SON THROUGH ADOPTION. I HAVE A SON THROUGH BIRTH. AND THEY ARE THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFTS I HAVE EVERN BEEN GIVEN ASIDE FROM SALVATION. Then the tears, the same tears, come too for Nan and the dresses and the days going by and I mourn for her in a way that tears me to pieces. I mourn for her to the point that my tears have become moaning to the Lord.

Mussie, Finn and I are studying the Solar System this month at school. Earth is tiny in comparison to the rest of the known universe. Tiny as it is my daughter is so far away tonight. My prayers go up to my God, to the God of the earth, of the universe. The God that spoke all of this mystery into being, the God that gave us these two boys, the God that has always been faithful.....to Him I pray with the heart of a mother to please deliver her home soon.

And, I wait.

This is what it is like to be a mother touched by adoption.

It is beautiful beyond explanation and more difficult than ever imagined. How grateful I am to be on this journey, even though there is pain in the offering.

Labor pains, like with Finn. Gut wrenching, life altering, never seeming to cease pain and yet every part of me moves forward towards the life that is being delivered.

Birth and Adoption, both heavily requiring labor. The contractions for Nannie are coming on strong. Oh, Lord I love you. Please hear my prayer and sustain me with your strength now as I have labored long and I weary.

It was your hand that upheld Mussie and me.

It was was your hand that upheald Finn and me.

It is your hand now that I rest in, knowing she rests there too.

And, yes.... of course....the too small dresses were sold to the consigment shop so that new ones would be waiting.

One Dish Per Person Update

2012-01-04T18:52:00.000-08:00

It has only been two days and already the dishes are less of a burden. The new system is working out better than expected, so good in fact that I called my sister and just like any good and responsible older sibling promptly told her exactly what to do. (Ah, Beaner. Please move here).
The truth of the matter is, though, that I am pretty darn blown away how one simple act of genuine simplification actually....worked. And, it ways I had not expected.

Each boy now takes his own bin to the table at breakfast, sets his own place, and keeps his bin on the floor next to his chair. We eat, laugh, make messes, carry on, and when the meal is through each boy puts his dirty dishes back into his bin, carries them on his own to the sink, scrapes, and washes them himself. Finn needs a little help, here, but it is such a pleausre to help a two year old wash his own dishes that I do not mind at all. The pure joy of the water and the facet and the bubbles make this task a treat even if his shirt does get soaked three times a day. The bins are then placed right back into the cabinet with thier clean dishes ready for the next meal. Its amazing. I have not washed a single child sized dish in three days.

For the past three days I have been giving a lot of remindres and demonstrating what to do with the bins. At dinner tonight we finished off the eggs (actually, we had to go make more because these boys are eating machines now). On his own....without Mommy or Daddy saying a word, my five year old got up, thanked me for the meal, carried his dirty dishes in his bin into the sink, washed them, and put them away. He came to me and said, "Can I go watch Whinnie the Pooh now?" I looked at his clean dishes. I looked at the suds on his shirt. And, you better believe that boy watched Whinnie the Pooh tonight.

For three solid days I have cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner from scratch. That includes making all of the breads, sauces, everything. And, for three solid days I have not fretted about the kitchen once. Having only one set of dishes per person has rocked the kitchen mess into something totally and completely controllable. I am enjoying my time in the kitchen. I am not freaking out and burden by mess. Our entire little family is united around this one common goal AND not once have we missed a single dish that we packed away....not once!

Wondering what else can change, what else can I let go, pass on, and reconsider. What do we really need to function so that we can really, truly, authentically, wildely, bravely, passionately, restfully, peacefully, compassionately, and joyfully Live?

Well, for starters we don't need a lot of dishes. The cuboards are a bit bare, but not empty...more like feet that have kicked off their shoes and are one step closer to the beach.

Simplify: Mission One

2012-01-02T19:14:00.000-08:00

Even the word simplify appeals to me. I like the way it sounds. My entire body relaxes at the mere thought of simplicity. At the thought of something simple I think cotton sheets on a summer day, light and breezy. Simplicity is a buzz word right now. You can go into just about any store with home decorations and find things that say, "Simplify". And, people are buying those up. In my own neighborhood two people have mailboxes that have that word painted onto them with flowers right next to the little red flag. Yet, on trash day the gigantic bins piled high with garbage seem a stark contrast to that very message. And it is here that I wonder if we are truly in a season of simplification in our lives than do we need another sign to hang on the wall that says "simplify"? Isn't that in all actuallity just one more soldier on the Stuff side fighting against us with wasting our energy and time and finances...and for that matter natural resources?

These past few years as my family has grown and there are more tummies to fill, books to read, adventures to embark on, and well.....laundry to do I have really started to reconsider the word simplify. And, I do not mean buying a sign and hanging it on my wall. I mean....actually simplifying with a purpose.

One of the questions that Jason and I asked ourselves by candle light on New Years Eve from these questions is this, "What are some of your biggest time wasters?" The answers to this question for me were all around in the form of a unkempt house that I labor daily trying to upkeep. The funny thing is I hardly ever get to the actual cleaning. Can't tell the last time my floors were mopped or the book case dusted. My time is spent in mere upkeep of STUFF.....the organizing of it, the picking it up off of the floor, the cleaning it, the justifying it, the feeling burdened by it, and all the other its that come with stuff.

It makes me wonder perhaps if I could do so many of those beautiful things my soul craves each day if perhaps the stuff were, well, gone.

Dishes, one of my time wasters. Spending time in my kitchen is not the problem, it one of my favorite rooms. Baking, cooking, teaching, simply being in the kitchen as bread bakes and the kids spill flour ont the counter and write pictures with their fingers. The kitchen is home to me. Yet, the time I spend in the kitchen is not mostly laboring over the meals and teaching math to the boys through measurment it is doing all of those dog-gone dishes~ three times and sometimes more each day! My family fills a dishwasher every single day and the dishes are non stop. I expressed this to Jason, this time waster that consumes my energy and takes time I could be resting, playing, loving, serving, and drowns it in a hundred cups and bowls and endless spoons.

He said, in that every so calm and practical way that a man can say things, "What if we just had one set of dishes for each of us?" My eye brows went up, with hope and wonder.

One Cup
One Bowl
One Plate
One Fork
One Knife
One Spoon
One Coffee Cup
One Placemat

ONE. Now, that sounds like simplification to me.
Today was our mission number one is reducing the STUFF that wastes the precious resources the God has given. I started with the kids things. For my two children we had 12 bowls, 13 plates, and I lost count of the cups somewhere after we hit the teens. Each child chose thier favorites and in the cabinet that used to house a chaotic selection of dinnerware they now each have ONE little bin with everything they need for all three meals. They carried thier bins to the table and set their own places with actually made such a smoother transition to our meal anyway. They carried thier dirty stuff back in the bins, we washed it immediately in the sink and put it back so it is ready and waiting for breakfast.

Jason and I did the same with cups. We each chose a favorite cup and put the rest away....as in in a box, a taped box, that will hopefully go to Goodwill as soon as we make certain we can do this!
The goal is to reduce our plates, bowls, utensils, etc through the week. The China cabinet already houses a set of hardly used dishes and we will keep those for when friends and family come over. But, the daily maintainance just got a whole lot eaiser and already I feel a little lighter.

Mission One: The Dishes is in progress!

Closets and Drawers watch out, your next. :)

Butter Cake

2011-12-27T19:02:00.000-08:00

The Moose held up his glass at dinner and smiled his usual, "I am the King of the Five Year Olds" grin.

He commanded all of our attention through a series of grunts and continued grunting until even his kid brother was paying full and eager attention.

"Let's do a buttercake.", he announced.
The best way to describe our faces is to say this incredibly intelligent word: Heh?
Again, he repeated it. "Let's do a buttercake!"
He motioned with his glass that we should all raise up our cups and cling them together.
"Do you mean a toast?"
He thought for a moment. "Ah, yes.", he stated, "I knew it had something to do with butter."

This was two weeks ago. Since we have been doing frequent buttercakes at our family table.

A buttercake to you, Finn, for going three minutes without yelling "no" repeatedly just because you can.

A buttercake to you, Mussie, for only asking to quit our school lesson and watch TV five times today rather than the usual number.

A buttercake to you, Daddy, for transforming a once peaceful living room into a fully functioning train depot.

A buttercake to you, Mommy, for actually answering your phone today even though you have already misplaced it again.

And, a buttercake to you Guinevere for simply being alive.

A buttercake to you, dear reader, and many wishes for a blessed and peaceful new year.

Great Opportunity to Help Orphans!

2011-12-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

Hope Ethiopia from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

I am so excited about this opportunity from Lifesong for Orphans.
After watching the video this is what came to mind?
1. Is Lifesong hiring because I could dedicate my life to this work?
2. Can we move to Ethiopia and be a physical part of the amazing things that are happening there? Just watching that video made me miss my time in Ethiopia and it also made me eternally grateful for the connection that I have to that land through my son.
3. A small Christmas gift, will turn into something so big if we share it here. No one I know really needs another sweater, but these kids need what they are receiving through this school.

To help build 12 new class rooms, make is so that 420 less students have to be turned away, and make a huge impact on the lives of Ethiopian children that can change the world please visit the Lifesong blog. The video takes a little over two minutes. If nothing else, please watch it and pray!

Here is a little more~ A generous donor is matching up to $130,000!!!

Get your family involved, tell the kids! Eat beans for a week, I don't know! Be a part of this opportunity, be it little or big. Tell me if you do, or even if you just blog about it. I am so excited to see this goal reached!

Immigration!

2011-11-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

Rushed to the post office this morning with the dudelings. We overnighted the immigration papers to USCIS!
The next big step here we come!!

All morning the Moose helped me make sure we had everything in order. We threw on our clothes and ran out the doors to mail the papers. We got to the post office, we stopped and prayed as a family over the papers asking that the Lord help deliver them to the right person. We gave them to the post office gal, we paid, we walked out. I said, "Wow, feels good to have those papers on the way!"
The Moose looked up, cocked an eyebrow and said, "What papers?"

And...this...oh...this is a five year old. :)
Finn, well, he was busy dealing with the molar he has coming in so his main priority was playing with the drool coming down from his chin.

See Guinivere Nan Ling Ling~ you have so much to look forward too!!

To Her

2011-11-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

Guinevere Nan Ling Ling,

The weather channel is set to Maoming, China. Every day we check the weather to see if the sun will be shining through a window for you or if rain will pitter-patter on the roof. Some days I think of you and it is a hopeful anticipation that flows through me. Today, it is painful. This afternoon as your brothers rest and I drink my tea my heart is aching. I feel as though we have been torn apart from one another even though we have yet to meet face to face.
Last night your Daddy prayed that the Lord would work miracles. He prayed that you would be home sooner than we all excpet. He prayed (and this was my favorite part) that as you slept, even now, Jesus would be whispering into your heart that a family is waiting for you in love.

Mommy

Stuart Little Unit Study :Highlight

2011-11-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday night. I have just finished preparing for our week two of a unit study on E.B. White's Stuart Little.
Last week we did so many fun things, but the absolute favorite was creating Stuart's room out of a shoe box and a ton of other scraps I had in my craft bin.
The entire room is "upcycled", we purchased nothing for the making of it.

Shoe box
Fabric Remnants
Pieces of lace, ribbon, and yarn
Cotton balls
Egg Carton
Plastic piece from inside of pizza box
Old buttons
Acorns
blueberry container

Samuel and Finn had a blast. Several times Samuel exclaimed, "I am so happy today! I love arts and crafting time!"
And, Finn was simply thrilled to have hours dedicated to coloring himself with a marker while I assisted his big brother with the hot glue gun. By the way, I am a big fan of giving kids the hot glue gun and letting them go to town creativity. With a little instructions, some supervision, and a bit of relaxing on Momma's part kids can really engage more in a project if they can man the gun....

DudeLings

2011-11-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

Reality Check: Air Hockey With The Moose

2011-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

And,that about says it all............

The Crafts for a Cause Fair!

2011-10-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

The reason for the Fair~ Guinivere Nan Ling Ling Brabson!!!

Sarah and Me, Exhausted after 8 weeks of planning, 30 Vendors, and 200 shoppers! The Crafts for a Cause Fair was fun!

The guys "manning" the bake sale and lunch!


Shoppers liked spinning the wheel and we made $1000 in donations! The prizes were items from our vendors and things we received from the community!

Anyone needing to raise money for an adoption might want to consider a fair such as the Crafts for a Cause Fair that we planned and hosted. Not only was it fun and a good way to raise funds, but it was a wonderful opportunity to tell the broader community about orphan care and adoption! I am happy to help other adopting families by sharing our fair planning tips with you.

U Be A'ight....

2011-10-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

Once when Jason and I were preparing to board a cruise ship we were feeling that strange sensation that occurs as travel exhaustion mingles with the anticipation of adventure. I had thought about my children, who were not with us on this trip, for the nine bazillionth time that day. And, yes bazillion is a real number, at least to all the mothers out there who have ever stepped out of the house without the little tykes in tow.
Feeling tired, yet being entirely unable to remain still, I leaned onto Jason's shoulder and began smacking my lips obnoxiously in his ears. After years of marriage I find that this is one of my very favorite things to do as it both irritates him to pieces and permits me to sneakily breath him in. I adore the way that my husband smells. It is familiar and where his scent is, I am home. So, here I am purposely annoying him to pass the time and smelling him in public. It is the way our flirting has evolved over the years, and it is just as fun as ever. Mere moments we would be on the ship, adventure bound, and ready for seven days of kid-free romance upon the sea.

"I'm thirsty.", I say to him still leaning into his shoulder.
The love of my life, father of my children, my very own knight in shining armour, the king of the castle, defender of my honor, and the guy that makes me late night coffee when I must stay up past bedtime, looks over at me and says the following as we prepare to embark on seven days of romance. Ready for it?

He says, "U Be A'ight."

Translation: You will be alright.

Repeat: "U Be A'ight."

I laughed. It tickled me to the core, but Jason is good at that. He is good at making me laugh and he loves doing it, which I have to tell you I appreciate more than I ever knew I would. It is good to be a woman who has the affection of a man. It is good to be a woman who has a man that tries....really tries....to bring a smile to my face. And because he tries so hard I am eager to help, eager to return that smile, becaue I know it means victory for him. Anyway, so there I am laughing and still thirsty.
For a couple of minutes we teased back and forth.

"Don't you tell me that I "be a'ight! This is like our honey moon all over again. You couldn't have even said that in correct english?"

We boarded the ship, crossing over the elevated gangway. I was still going on about being thirsty and his immediate response to my need. Way down the deck, like a distant speck, there was a table with bottles of water upon it. My husband looks at me. He grabbed me suddenly, planting a kiss on my lips, and says, "Anything for you."

He goes running. I am not giving you exaggerated words here for effect. Jason Brabson goes running, sprinting down the deck, heading toward the water table. He is running victoriously, set upon bringing me water. I stand there at the entry point, my ebarressed laughter greeting the boarding passengers. He is doging past people, nearly knocking down elderly ladies, jumping over small children, just to bring me water.

"Yes, that is my husband running madly down the deck.", I would say blushing and giddy.

A few moments later, wind blown, he returned.
Again, a kiss.

"Where is my water?", I asked eagerly.
"Oh.", he smiled. "It was not free. Can you believe they wanted four dollars!"

I stuttered. I was still thirsty. "But....", I began.

He interrupted with a grin.
"U be A'ight!"

That was almost a year ago. I still hear "U Be A'ight" with some frequency and have said it myself too. It is good to have someone that loves me enough to remind that I will actually be alright.. I have a mate that goes to tremendous trouble to make me smile. It matters to him. I matter to him. Today, as we sat together on the couch completing the last home study interview we must do before Nannie can come home I thought of this memory.

He does not read to me out loud as much as I would like him too.
He does not clean the house.
He does not understand my particular affinity for Van Morrison.

But, he makes a fool of himself so that I smile. And he is happy to do so.
Today, if you happen to read this, remember to look for effort. See in your husband everything that they do and not what they don't. If we look for love, we shall find it. Shoot, spread that out. Look for love in everyone you can.

At dinner that first night on the cruise Jason went through the buffet line. As I waited in line myself I watched him without his knowing. He was really eager to pile on the unlimited breadsticks and cheese sauce. The first thing he did was fill up a mug of coffee and set it on his tray.
He does not drink coffee.....but his thirsty wife does.

Jason,

For the effort that you put into keeping a smile on my lips, I thank you.
I hope and strive to do the same for you.

The fact that I matter to you is one of the greatest joys of my life.
Know that you....YOU...matter to me and always will.
Ready for crazy Brabson kid number three?
I think we could use that cruise again soon!
I am "A'ight" because you are my husband. Thank you.

Katie

To Sissy Pants:

2011-10-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

Dearest Nan Ling Ling,

(Also...Guinivere Nan Ling Ling Brabson)

Today the dude-lings, those are your hilarious and sugary sweet wild brothers, went Halloween costume shopping with me. Moose ended up with a ninja costume complete with muscles and all despite my obvious disregard. Truth is, he looked adorable and I caved and he is upstairs right now sleeping in his ninja costume. I wonder if he will take it off between now and Halloween.....
Finn tried on a skunk, dog, and bear costume but his head is too big and none of them fit him right.
Anyway, we went shopping and then Finn, who for all purposes might as well be your twin brother as you are so close in age and head size for that matter, was terribly hungry. So we stopped at Panera and shared a meal. The lemonade was delicious. Moose ate all the yogurt and Finn was upset, but he apologized and they gave kisses and then began licking the icing off of their cookies.
At Panera I was thinking of you. A man came over and said to me, "You have two very nice young men."
I smiled. You were on my heart. I thanked him, agreed that your brothers are in fact two very nice young men and then told him proudly that I had a lovely daughter too. He said I was lucky. He has no idea.

Meanwhile, there you are in China and I miss you even though you have yet to set foot into my home. Your face, the curve of your cheeks, and the rolls of darling chubs on your fingers are already entirely and completely in my heart. I put your brothers to bed today for naps and I cried.
They were happy tears. Things are moving along and soon, soon, soon, we shall be together.

Someday, when you are older, and your voice and smile and spirit are all to familiar in this house I will sit you on my lap and read this to you. I do it now with Moose. He loves to read stories of his adoption. I do it now with Finn. I read him letters I wrote while pregnant too.

Not sure what you are doing today, but know that today...on this ordinary rainy autumn afternoon you have a family and loves you, that covers you in prayer unceasingly, and that is waiting eagerly for you.

You do not know it yet, but I am your Momma. And, oh, do I love you so.

Hold tight little girl.

Momma

ps...your Daddy watched the video of you over and over all weekend long. If you don't mind please consider being a Daddy's girl. He prays for this every night.

Crabs at Dinner

2011-10-04T16:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my dudelings are just plain crabby....tonight was no exception......heheheh

Homegrown Melon, Beans, and Zucchini Bread.....along with our first ever attempt of crab! Thanks to Tilley for helping be a sucessful experience!

Finn, Digging in before we got around to cracking it open. He did not care. It made a good sword this way.

Moose spent 99% of dinner asking questions about this here claw. It is in his pocket now.....nice.


Thirty and still...well....me....

Ways to Help Our Nannie!!

2011-10-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

Guinevere Nan Ling Ling Brabson

Some one was laughing with Jason the other day and said, "I don't drink coffee, but I want to help bring Nannie home! Can't I just give you some money?"

Well, yes. You can, if you like. Any monetary donations towards our adoption will go 100% towards the adoption. Eventually, donations might go towards travel cost, but right now we are simply paying for paper work processing. If you would like to make a donation towards our adoption cost you can do one of three things.

You can simply paypal a donation to us using our paypal email of Subrabia@live.com
or you can make a donation to us through In His Hands Orphan Ministry. If the "funds" section of the online form simply put: To the Brabson Family. This will then be tax deductable for you. This can be done online here. You may also make a tax deductable donation to our adoption through our church, Knox Knolls Free Methodist Church.

If you are wanting to support the process in a different way there are other options too!
We still do have coffee for sale, here.
We also have a few bolga baskets left, but I believe many of them will be sold at our Craft Fair. If you do want a bolga basket then please buy them before the 15th of October. I will not be ordering any more this year and I hope to sell out at the fair!!

We are needing two MEGA BIG THINGS!!!
1. People to donate baked goods to our bake sale for the Craft Fair on October 15th. We can pick them up from you on the 14th, Friday. Please, please, pretty please...if you can bake.....help out here! It would be so appreciated!
2. We do need a few volunteers to help wtih the Craft Fair on the 15th. I have a booth to work and I either need someone to help run my booth or to sit at the "welcome table". We could also help at our consessions stand.

Thank you to everyone for the love and support, for asking about Nannie, for telling us that you are praying for her, and for wanting to help. It is amazing to be surronded by people who WANT to serve. Sure makes us hope and strive to do the same for others!

Katie

Tennessee!

2011-09-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

Some photographic highlights of Tennessee, Brabson style.......

Yes, that is his hair....its been that way for days now! The boys adored "playing" pool at the cabin.

Good Morning. Java and a View. Momma is happy.

Fish, Fish, Fish, Brabsons, Fish, Fish.....

Hot Tub Brotherly Love.

Heavy Load, But Happy Heart.

One of the best moments: Samuel Mussie getting sworn in as an Offical Junior Ranger having just completed the Smokey Mountian National Park Junior Ranger Program. Too cool!

Mmm...someone got into the homemade poptarts.....

Our cabin, hidden and high, and perfect.

Graduate School Notebook: 1

2011-09-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

The next few days I am going to post a few interesting little tid-bits of writing that I found last night while sifting through my old graduate school note books.
Some of them make sense, others do not.
I am writing on the blog not so much to share them, but so that I can free to toss them into the recycle bin yet somehow I know that my little diddies still exist somewhere......

Notebook Diddy One:
There is coming a day in which I know I will look at my husband and say that we have to make a change, that we have to head to sea or else I will go crazy. But, today is not that day. There are still children we long for who's faces and heartbeats we will be revealed to us as the years go by. This season now is the time for Curious George, diapers, and gardening. It is a beautiful season in its own accord and I write this to tell myself to not allow this season to be wasted. Yet, I know still that as they always do this season will change and I will find us, children capable and confident, upon the sea.

I do not know when I wrote it or why. Apparently, I must have been longing to sail which happens often even though I am pretty sure I would sink rapidly at my own panicking at which markers mean stay in the channel and which signify to proceed....
I must have also been full swing in motherhood here too, because of the Curious George reference and the diapers. Oddly, I am further into this season now with two boys running rampant and a little girl coming home soon.....Wonder what class I diddled this during...?

To my three...

2011-09-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Samuel~ you are hilarious. Please keep saying words incorrectly. It makes you little. You can do "stumps" on your bike anytime, but never stunts. And, I do not know why we do not see more "blimples" in the sky perhaps it is because blimps are not a very popular way to travel. And, your right there is a certain deliciousness about the air today.

Finn~ your eyes make my heart melt. And, anytime that you would like to expand your vocabulary to include words that sound remotely close to an interpretable language it will be wonderful. In the meantime, say "Mama" all that you desire because I am oh so happy to be the lady on the receiving end of that word from your lips. And, yes I will play choo-choo's with you in the morning.

Nannie~ we prayed that you would have a banana today. I do not know why, but we did. Just so that you know I gave you at least fifteen kisses today. And, tomorrow I will send double that your way. Hang on baby girl, be strong of heart and mind and will.

Lord, bless and keep my children those upstairs and those across the blue ocean tonight.

Introducing .....

2011-09-05T19:29:00.000-07:00

Family and Friends,

The Republic of China has approved us! Nan Ling Ling is our little girl!

Nan. Nannie. Nana. Nannie Bannie Fo Fannie.
Sissy. Sisssy Pants. Sister. Baby Sister.
Kissy Face.

That last one is from me. I just want to kiss that little face of hers.

Soon....but not soon enough!

check this out....CRAFTS FOR A CAUSE

Home Schooling Diary, Night before Day One

2011-08-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the official day we begin Kindergarten.

Friday I was feeling tremendously grateful that we watched school buses pass by our front room window while snuggled up together with squirmy little brother and a well worn copy of Little Bear.

Saturday I was feeling the thrill of my curriculum. The smell of the books, the crisp pages, the just sharpened pencils, and the blank paper just waiting for creativity all had me giddy and eager for the start of this school year.

This brings me to today. Sunday night. Although the gratitude is still there in abundance and the excitement of what we shall learn is still looming in the air all I keep thinking is this~

Maybe we can wait until Tuesday....

Its nerves. A lot of nerves.

And, we are out of sausage and I promised my Moose that he would have sausage and biscuits for breakfast on the first day of this school year.

Yes, blame the lack of sausage.

Public Announcement: Brabson Academy for International Studies will be closed tomorrow on account of sausage, or lack there of. Thank you.

Adoption Update

2011-08-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

I have a story for you. It is a story without an ending, so perhaps this is not a story, rather a chapter.
I have a chapter for you. And, regardless of the ending to come this particular chapter is worth writing.

We began the adoption process several months ago for the waiting child program in China. Paper work plugged along slowly, mostly on our part, as we did a bit here and a bit there. Last month Jason came home early so that Samuel and I could attend our monthly In His Hand Orphan meeting. A few months ago several families that had just returned from China with thier new children spoke and introduced us to thier children. Apparently I was staring because Samuel said, "Mom, can you stop oogling at the China kids?" This meeting as not about China, but we were excited to go and participate. Running late we took the only seats available which happened to be behind a couple that I had never met before.

The meeting happened. I stood to leave. As I gathered my belongings I overheard the couple in front of us telling a very personal store, that was frankly none of my business. The story was heartbreaking. They had been on an emotional roller coaster. Miscarriages after miscarriage had led this couple to adoption. They had accepted a referral and had made the very difficult decision of having to go back and decline the referral based on new medical information that had come to thier attention. On one hand they were thrilled at the newly accepted referral of a seven month old baby girl. On the other hand tears flowed for having to decline the previous child. But they knew that it was the decision for them.

I tapped the woman on the shoulder and tried to politely butt into the conversation. First, I wanted to encourage this couple and let them know that this process part is just that and it will quickly go from process to parenthood. I can not deny that my heart was quickening at the thought of this little girl. I did not know her name, her story, her age, her medical condition. I just knew that I could not leave without finding out.

Her name is Nan Ling Ling. She is nineteen months old. She has cleft lip and palate. She has ambiotic band syndrome. She has a mild case of Thallasemia.

That is what I found out. Jason and I requested more information about her, out of curiosity, truly nothing more. We did not think that we could be matched with her because we are not able to turn in our paper work to China until October.

Her file came. I fell in love. Immediately.
Jason, ever practical and patient, wanted to take her information to a doctor (or five!) and find out more nessesary information such as what we could expect with surgries, recovery, treatment, and basic explanations for us on each of her diagnosis. We were told that we had plenty of time to make an informed decision and we were taking it, while simoltaneously kicking it into high gear with all of our paper work. We spoke with doctors, contacted specialists, meanwhile began adding the name "Nannie" to the end of our Good Nigh Moon song that we sang with the boys before bed.

At the homeschool conference I spent every free minute on the phone talking about Nan to various people. We waited, some days emotionally and others peacefully, for a Word from the Lord to unite us and bring us to a place of peace over this decision together. Little Nan seemed to consume our thoughts and conversation for a time. One Sunday morning we decided to take a week off of the discussion and planning. We took a Sabbath week. There was very little talk of Nan, only sneaky little kisses on the cheek of her picture. I prayed. Jason prayed. We were quiet on the subject. We were still in our souls.

The Sunday that followed we showed her picture off at church and asked for prayer in our decision, but more so prayer for her. On Monday Jason came home. Nan's picture was on the counter. We had been teasing a bit here and there that day about other names we might add to hers. It was the first time we had shared such a light heartedness about Nan. After kissing the boys, taking a moment for the usual wrestles and flips, he headed over to the counter and picked up her picture.

"She is a cutie, isn't she?", he said. He continued to look. "At first when I looked at her picture what stood out to me was the surgery that she was going to need. Now, when I look at her I see a beautiful girl."

With that we picked up the phone to contact the agency. A message came through from a friend of mine that works for the agency that she had checked today and Nan was no longer on the list of available children. We ate dinner, did our nightly routine, put the boys to bed....and cried together on the couch. I told Jason that it felt as though I had experienced a miscarriage. I was grieving something that I had not yet held in my arms, but was already carrying in my heart.

A few days later I was printing off pictures for our photo albums. He suggested I print one off of Nan. He said she was a part of our story and always would be. I did.

We continued to pray for her. We let go of the idea she would be ours. To be off the list meant she had another family and for that we were rejoicing for her.

Another week past. She never left our thoughts.

Yesterday came.
The director of our adoption agency said that she had been thinking of us and of Nan. She wanted to know if we needed closure. She could find out for us for sure if Nan had a family so that we could move on knowing that she was going to be taken care of.

She was there.

Then she was gone.

These past two weeks we have processed why God brought her into our lives.
She kicked us into super high paper work gear.
Because of Nan our hearts were molded and prepared to adopt a child that will come to us with needs that we have not experienced before.
The Lord used her to bring Jason and I into obedience and into unity with one another.
We both said if for any reason she comes back on that list she is ours in a heartbeat.

Today.
The boys and I were at the discovery museum. My phone kept ringing. And ringing.
It was my friend at the agency. Nan had been found. She did not have a family.
Nan still needs a Daddy and a Mommy and we happen to think she could benefit from two big brothers. Today we rushed to submit paperwork and family photos which as we speak are being presented to the China to request that they match little Nannie to our family, permanently.

We are to find out within a week if we have been approved and this little girl will become our daughter.

If we are approved and matched with her then Nan Ling Ling will come home in April (most likey, with adoption things can always be sooner or later!)

Chapter one ends here, with two excited and totally in awe people sitting on the couch wondering what shall unfold in the coming weeks for us and for Nannie.......our Nannie?

Friends, pray.

Buy Brabsons Beans!

2011-08-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

I wont lick your face if you drink Brabsons Beans!

To help us offset the cost of our adoption we are selling coffee.....everyone in the entire world, except Jason, drinks coffee so certainly you can pass this link along! Hehe...ok, not everyone...but a heck of a lot of people!

The coffee is fair trade (wouldn't have it any other way), delicious, and sustainable. We receive a percent of every single purchase made through our store and 100% of it is going towards our fees.

We sure appreciate your support and prayers~ we also appreciate your coffee addiction, so visit Brabsons beans and share the link on all those social networking sites you belong too!

Link: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/Brabsonsbeans

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Drink our coffee! Thank you!

Im crazy for Brabsons Beans!

Thoughts of a Momma in the Midst of Adopting

2011-08-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

The boys are in bed. The dishes done. My to-do list nearly completed for tonight. In all honesty though, regarding that to-do list, I did move most of my projects under the "tomorrow" side so that I could free up my evening to stare at the picture of a little darling girl that we are praying about and perhaps...maybe...going to make a Brabson.

I have debated in my mind writing about this. Its personal. Its real. Its weird. Yet, it is the experience of an adoptive mother.

Yesterday I found myself doodling her name on paper as I talked on the phone.
Today I could not help but kiss her sweet picture every time I walked past.
Last night she consumed my dreams.
Moose called her "sister" today and my heart ached with the warning that we should not call her that yet.....yet.

I spent a chunk of my day today on the phone with pediatricians, specialists, and adoption workers. All as a part of our "process" in trying to wisely decide if we can and will adopt her.

Let me tell you something. This part of the "process" is gut wrenching, awkward, and fragile. I need to put this out there because I really think that I am a special form of crazy right now!

I have before me a child, an orphan, who needs a family.
I have a family, a happy one at that.
In that one regard I can instantly provide for one of her most basic needs.

As I look at her picture I can hear a sweet voice ask me, "Can I be yours?"

My heart beats back, "of course you can be mine!"

But, can she?

Here are the things that we must consider, or at least the things everyone tells us we must consider.....

1. Can we afford the medical costs of the multiple surgeries she will need immediately after arriving home?
2. Can we afford the time it will take to get her treatment and help her recover?
3. Does the fact that she has three special medical needs mean that she is more prone to having developmental delays that may change our family dynamics?
4. What if we say yes?
5. What if we say no?
6. Is if fair to the boys to adopt a child with special needs? (Several people have asked this one......)
7. What if her diagnosis from China is wrong and she is sicker than we think?
8. What if my expectation that she will be fine is wrong and she is indeed not fine, what then?

I am not making light of these questions, certainly a wise man considers a great many things. Tonight, though, these are not the questions that I hear.

I hear only this, "Can I be yours?"

Translations:
1. Will you have faith in my loving Creator that he will provide for our family as you care for me?
2. Will you sacrifice, giving me your time and resources, so that I might have a chance to be the very shining star that God created me to be?
3. If I do not grow as quickly, understand as much, or communicate as well will you smother me with kisses and proudly call me your own precious girl?
4. Does saying "yes" to me mean that I can sneak food off your plate just like my brothers do?
5. Does saying "no" mean that I do not measure up?
6.Do you believe that regardless of my needs I will be a blessing and a treasure to my brothers, who will learn to love and care and play with me no matter?
7. What of my heart and soul and those places within that a diagnosis does not touch?
8. Am I worthy, to be seen and loved and embraced with no expectations, but simply as a child of God?

Though we have been through the adoption process before it feels entirely foreign. Samuel is not an adopted child. He was adopted. On October 23, 2007.....since that day he has simply been our child.....no more process...no more paperwork....just parenthood. It is no different than Finn being born almost two years ago. There was a pregnancy and a birth.....was.....
It is so strange being back in the process again.

Regardless of our answer, and I fully believe that the Lord will lead us faithfully down the path that he has for our family, I find hope from this process in one thought:
There will be a day when fundraising, paper chasing, fingerprinting, and processes will be through, and although I do not know for certain now who it will be, I will hold a child in my arms and say to her the same thing I whisper to my boys now, "You are mine. And, I am yours. And, that is that."

If you read this all the way through then I ask that you pray for us. Pray that Jason and I would be like minded and hear the Word of the Lord together with one spirit. Pray that Nan will be cared for and loved whether she is to be ours or not. Pray that sweet tender Samuel and Finn would be learning to have hearts of compassion and faith in a mighty God through this journey our family is on once again. Pray that the advise coming into our home would be taken with a grain of salt as I seem to be so easily affected by others thoughts now and that we would be given wisdom as to which words to head and which to toss away. Pray for the orphans. Just pray.

a text to God...

2011-08-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Emotions are going haywire. Physically exhausted. No doubt the hormones are discombobulated somehow too... woke up this morning and found myself preparing to send a silly text to a dear friend who understands motherhood woes and joys. I began to type, sarcastically, Lord, give me strength!
I found myself putting down the phone, bowing my head, and thinking of those words, sans the sarcasm.

Lord, give me strength.
Lord. Give me strength.
Lord. I am tired.
Lord. I am overwhelmed.
Lord. I am sorry.

And, then followed a flood of burdens, concerns, and fragile hopes.
Once they were spoken aloud in the stillness of my early morning kitchen I found something a sarcastic text would not have afforded me~ strength for the tasks before me and peace for my ever roaming soul.

Lord, you are good.
Lord you are mighty.
Lord. Your love sustains me.
Lord, Thank you. In the shadow of your wing I rest this day.
Although they remain unknowns to me, the heart wrenching questions that have weighed me down these past week are at rest now too in the faithful hands of a loving Father. And, the burden is light.

Be with Nan, regardless of the coming days, as you are with me. Extent your wing across the sea to keep and bless that precious baby.......

Amen.

How the Garden Grows....

2011-07-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Whooowee.....summer is hot. I know that is pretty much a common knowledge thing, but until I had a garden to tend I do not think I ever realized how hot it really gets! The garden is fun. The weather matters to us so much more now.

We cheer the sunshine.
We hold tight for rain.

We know it takes both to ripen our tomatoes.

From our little garden we have canned tomatoes, lacto-fermented ketchup, stored away jalepeno and berry jam, canned hot and spicy pickles, and tried our hand at canned green beans. I froze greens, okra and onions. And, the summer garden is really just starting to come alive! Each Sunday we give away produce and herbs at a table we set up in the foyer of our church. The plan, the hope, is to have enough bounty to take our organic fresh picked fruits, vegetables, and herbs into the homes of those who can not afford them. We must change the way we eat, all of us returning to old food traditions. This is not an easy message for someone to hear who can barely get buy from check to check (or no check at all). But, much easier to take in and think about over a free bushel of just picked organic goodness.

The summer garden is keeping us busy in the dirt and busy in the kitchen. I am learning so much just by doing. This makes me really eager for next summer. I have new plans brewing already....including, perhaps, a slightly less dorky hat........

A Space for Thinking

2011-07-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

Finally! We no longer have a TV on our main floor. The television is nicely and comfortably tucked away in the basement ready for family movie nights. The living room is now peaceful, perfectly suited for reading, piano, coloring, puzzles, window gazing, and sometimes just laying down on the floor and thinking. I am loving this space! It is so peaceful and encouraging creativity in both myself and the dudelings.

Even though we did not watch the TV much at all before just having it removed from the room is somehow freeing. It no longer sits in the corner whispering at us. Now, we hear, and answer the call of books and paper and open space.

Story telling. Imagination exploring. Role playing. Day dreaming. Simple chatting. Praying. These are things I have noticed we do more of, and all because we have a space that welcomes them with open arms. A space with no electronics.

Loving it.

One Tough Cookie

2011-07-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

Jason is one hundred percent on board with the whole foods movement that has swept into our kitchen in the past two years. He supports me and has really encouraged me to embrace old food traditions, which has really changed the entire way we think about food as a family. After two years, with very few exceptions, I am hardly tempted anymore by processed food. Although Jason eats with gratitude and support the food prepared for him, he does still crave old favorites and occasionally stops and picks up something that he knows I am not going to buy.

Case in point.

The boys and I sat down for lunch and ate a lovely raw spread of local produce with hummus and home made bread. We drank tea lightly sweetened with rapadura. Everyone was happy, content, oogling and awing the sweetness of our just picked blueberries. Until......Daddy sat down.

Oddly, the smell of pizza filled the air.
The boys began looking around for the source.
The source was at the table. Sneaking pizza behind his napkin as if none of us would notice.

We all noticed. See for yourself.
Note: He is drinking chocolate milk straight out of the syrup bottle.

Brat.

Poms

2011-07-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

Another great structured play time activity that the dudelets enjoyed this week was pom sorting. It worked differently for each boy. For Moose, the task was to use tongs, scoops, and spoons to sort the poms by color into the egg crate. For BooBoo, who is really just now working on focusing on a structured activity, the task was to use his hands to put the poms into his egg crate. For both boys this activity lasted about fifteen minutes. I knew the time was up when poms started flying everywhere and a new game had been created!

Flower Power

2011-07-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

One day I found Finn putting some of my flowers into a vase, taking them out, and putting them back again. I have been trying to keep fresh flowers on our table this summer, which thanks to the farmers market has been a pretty easy goal to accomplish. This afternoon I put several containers, metal and glass, onto the boys table. I spread out a bunch of artificial flowers that have collected over the summer at garage sales. I also supplied the dudelets with a few pretty dollies.

Surprisingly, they had a blast!
I had no idea that Moose would enjoy putting a floral arrangement together.
Finn did as I expected and had fun placing flowers into different containers, dumping them, and starting over.
This was such an enjoyable play activity for a super hot, but rainy summer day.

A Big Day!

2011-07-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks to friends at In His Hands, RCC, and our home church KKFMC, our first fundraiser was a hit. We had a pretty darn huge yard sale, many friends lending helping hands, and perfect blue skies.
The grand total was almost a thousand dollars! We are splitting this with another ministry at our church, meaning we earned five hundred dollars today to help off set the cost of the program costs.

We are exhausted. But, oh, so thankful for a great yard sale!

I even picked up these sweet embroidered images of China to decorate her room.

We have a name, we think. But, no sharing yet!

Many thanks to a loving church family and friends for your hard work, support, and willingness to spend an entire Saturday eating doughnuts and hauling boxes of junk around!

And, to you, sweet girl somewhere in the Republic of China. We are one step closer to you. And this is how I feel about that from my tired head to my dirty hard working toes..........ready....WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rainy Day

2011-06-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

Rain Rain, Go Away. Or...Stay....the Dudelings could not care either way.

Mud? Smud. Doesn't scare me.

Music Wall

2011-06-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

A new addition has come banging into the backyard. The Music Wall!
Banging is music, right?
It is here!
The boys woke up early this morning so we took books and coffee out onto the deck. Our backyard is becoming (finally!) a space that is inviting and comfortable for play of all kinds. We spent the entire day in the backyard, digging, swimming, banging pots and pans, sand playing, and climbing. We stayed outside until a storm came and the lighting caused us to take shelter on the porch. Eleven hours, with a one hour nap break. That is ten hours in our own backyard. A very peaceful day.

We still have a pot to hang on the music wall and I need to figure out a clever way to keep the spoons handy as right now they are just on the ground. A big thanks to Daddy for setting everything up for the music extravaganza!

Laundry Game

2011-06-09T05:52:00.000-07:00

I saw a cute quiet time activity for girls recently involving doll clothes, a line, some clothes line pins, and darling quiet girls playing sweetly. And, I thought how great it will be when Baby G is home to finally start doing some girlie things around this man cave.

But, I could not wait. She probably won't be home until spring.....and the laundry needed to be done before then ! So, I added a few elements and made this activity into something my boys might enjoy.

I set it all out for them outside and as we walked out the back door this Momma waited with fingers crossed.....would they like it?

Two days and hours of outside laundry play later.....here is the answer.

This was a frugal family activity. Earlier in the week I used felt and sewed some very simple doll clothes. I am not a seamstress, but they came out all right! I purchased two packs of clothes line pins, filled two containers with water, and busted out the antique washboard that I usually have hanging as a decoration on the wall. I used yarn to create the clothes line and then.....Momma sat back on the deck chair with some lemonaide and a smile.....

They have done this game two days in a row, so now I am going to put it away for a while to keep it new and fresh. Just like our cleans clothes here........

A picture, a memory.

2011-05-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

The very first moment I ever felt Finn kick my tummy I was wearing an oversized t-shirt, reading a book on the couch, and feeling sick for the fourth month straight. Then....that kick came....and it was this magical, ridiculous, precious greeting.

Hello? , he kicked.
Silence.
Dumb Grin.
Anticipation.
Tears.
Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

I will never forget that moment. Even though I do not even like the book I have held onto it because of the memory. Wanting to clear out my shelves I decided to garage sale the book, but Jason took this picture for me.

Finn,
Of all the kicks in the world.....it had to be you.
I love you. I love our memory. And, if you ever kick me again I will tickle you silly and smother you with kisses.
Momma

Karate

2011-05-22T21:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Mussie,

You rock my world baby cakes. And, seeing you earn your first belt in Karate on Saturday was sweeter by far than the doughnuts we shared afterward.

I love you Ninja Man.

Momma

Mud Pie Kitchen

2011-05-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

Our entire house has been gradually undergoing small changes that are adding up to what feels to us like a new home. The front room and library received new carpet, fresh paint, and a total purging of stuff. Needing simplicity and open space I even took decor down from the walls! Less, less, less....and loving it! Everything has been cleared out, organized, and rearranged I am finding several things regarding the boys and open uncluttered space:

1. With less toys the boys actually PLAY with something! Jason and I both noticed that when we removed the mass of play things and set only a few manipulative type toys down in the uncluttered floor they played with them. This is huge for us as we often observed our boys just roaming around holding and hoarding toys. They will set to the task of playing now and be content for the longest time.

2. Rearranging toys, art supplies, and furniture made them new again for the boys! Toys that have not been played with in ages, given a fresh home in the house, have suddenly become exciting once more. Coloring books on the top of the book shelf for months were moved into a basket on the flloor and now.....coloring has begun. A pile of relocated stuffed animals, long ignored, . are now being used for jumping cushions. Areas once used for toy bins are now empty zones for wrestling, spontaneous building, and my favorite....instant reading nooks.

3. Less stuff is like a breath of fresh air. Fresh air for the imagination. Fresh air for the mommy who spends much less time now picking up junky toys. Fresh air for the entire family as we are having a blast with the new found space and freedom. Fresh air for the entire concept of play in our home.

We have also been making changes in our backyard. Jason stained the deck, we tore up lots of dense landscape (this is where I got two weeks worth of poison ivy...grrr), and are building an area for the pups so that they do not keep running a muck in the part we like to run barefoot. I have all sorts of plans in the yard....music walls...water walls, art station, and......drum roll......the mud kitchen!

So, the sandbox is great. The dudes love it. But, the mud kitchen....oh...they adore the mud kitchen. Is it dirty? You bet. I created a small area that we make into mud. The boys wear aprons, but that is only because I think they are cute. The aprons do not really make less of a mess! I get our a box of spoons, bowls, pans, and various other dishes that can just be hosed off later. The dudes play for hours! They bring me mud pies, mud drinks, mud everything. They interact so well together out in the sunshine. Mud. Better than any plastic battery operated toy in the world...... :)

We also created a fantastic car ramp out of old boxes and the dudes spent HOURS shooting cars at fast pace down the bunkbed.

and, then there are times when instead of toys we have just been rolling each other up on burrito blankets and laughing until our tummies hurt.....

A mothers day garden update

2011-05-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today was particulary perfect. Not only was it mothers day, meaning a delicious homemade breakfast and endless cups of husband made coffee, but hilarious gifts and notes from my boys too. Just to give a glimpse, Captain Jack Sparrow made an action figure appearance along with nine bags of dark chocolate truffles. By the end of the day Captain Jack was already missing a leg and I had to ask Jason to hide the chocolate from me.

At church we were able to announce our adoption hopes and received prayer for this journey that we are on (again!). Thinking of how this time next year I just might have three little darlings is incredibly exciting and my heart was beating a little faster today with hopes and love for our little girl. I believe that our church truly will be praying for her and her birth family as this year will hold many trials for them. God be with them. And, wrap yourself around our child, close and warm, and ever present.

Despite predictions for rain we were able to spend all afternoon and long into the evening in our garden. The 1/2 acre is slowly filling up with rows and rows of produce. This afternoon was a very gratifying work day as finally the rows we hoe and till are lined with darling green plants. It makes it much easier to garden when one can actually see the plants!

If any of the vegetables actually survive after having been "Finned" it will be a miracle. I have no choice but to go out and buy him his own garden tools, the child loves to use mine and follows me every where. He has a habit of pulling out our plants and using the hoe on all the wrong spots. Today, when I was trying to figure out the identification of some of our plants Finn helped out by simply pulling them up! And, what do you know...sweet little radishes!

As of right now we have:
Lettuce
Kale
Chard
Spinach
Onion
Tomato
Peppers
Radish
Carrots
Potatoes
Cilantro
Oregano
Rosemary
Basil

Hopefully, this week we will plant sweet corn, bush beans, pole beans, zucchini, squash, and cucumbers.
And, then in June the pumpkins will go in the ground!

After tilling for me Jason took our little helpers home, which ended up being a great help to me! Despite needing to race the sun as it was quickly setting, my work brought peace with each movement. The garden, an interest I never knew I would have until a few years ago, is such a sanctuary for my mind. As I worked there were times of absolute stillness with me, perfect for this sabbath day. Moments in the garden are not abrubt, like when the TV goes on and off, rather they bleed into one another. A bit of labor here, a handful of dirt there, a pause to wish the sun farewll as it disappered over the horizon, a prayer spoken over the peppers that mentioned also the deepest burdens of my soul, the steady and satisfied walk back to the car, peeking over my shoulder at my days efforts, tearing up gently with gratitude for my husband and children, their sounds and laughter still resonating withing the field as I drove away. And now I wonder how to make my Monday the same as this day, how to invite the ebb and flow, the seasons, the day and night, and all the cycles that God so intelligently and perfectly created into the life of my family so that we are not distracted, abruptly going from one things to the next, frazzled. Rather that we would be present and engaged and peaceful in our tasks, both work and play.

Grow little garden. Grow little family. Thank you God.

Hair Craze!

2011-04-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

So, we are having some fun with hair around suBRABia. A lot of fun. As long as I put a movie on for him to watch the Moose sits very patiently and lets me style his beautiful hair. After watching the newest Karate Kid movie he announced that he wants to have hair like the main character, Dre Parker, who sports these adorable braids. Fun!

Here is the most recent hair-do for Moose. He looked darling and was so very proud of himself.

My friend Jenni turned me on to Carols Daughter hair products, which make Moose smell like sweet caramel and vanilla ice cream. I have also been using a homemade coconut oil, jojoba oil, cocoa butter and vanilla mixture that I made myself. Although I am getting good practice for doing a little gal's hair (hint-hint) I never knew it could be so much fun doing my own son's hair too!

And, then there is Boo-Boo......who is just bald enough to be a little hair shy for this post.
Hehe.....

Home Office

2011-04-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, in a nutshell, this picture shows the joy of having a home office.
The dress code is awesome.

And, yes I have two desks. One for my "Mommy Home School Planning" role and one for my "Social Worker in Dorky Socks" role.

Garden: Planting Again

2011-04-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

Today, we found our first sprout! A few of the kale and carrots that we planted have begun coming up already.
The little dudes and I worked today for a few hours. The sunshine was so nice!
We created three square foot raised beds and planted two varieties of lettuce, spinach, and radish. I am not a huge fan of radish, but they are easy to grow and would give us all some gratification for our labor. Plus, some people love radish so we can have fun giving them away!!

The boys lasted two hours and then tuckered out. Moose pulled two weeds, fell to the ground claiming to be entirely exhausted. He then gardened by locating worms and showing them to his brother, who was busy trying to eat dirt.

Moose at his happiest~ dirty!

Our first sign of the bounty to come!

Little Boo-Boo lending a helping hand!

Farmer Kate (I borrowed the Moose's hat...gotta get one of my own!)

Arizona: The rest.....

2011-04-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

We did not have internet in Williams, AZ and then we did not want to pay for it in Scotsdale~ thus the remaining week is here in one post. I will choose a few favorite pictures to share.

Highlights:

~ Taking the Grand Canyon Railway right into the national park, seeing a mountain lion, and watching Boo-boo go bananas over the trains.
~ As we were walking at the Grand Canyon (I repeat the GRAND CANYON) Moose looks up and says, "So, what are we going to do guys?"
~ Moose swam for the first time without floaties. Whoop!
~ Daily badminton games in the lawn
~ Eating delicious dessert by a roaring fire in the rain with my family.
~ Watching my wild boys run up and down the hotel hallways as if they owned the place.
~ Sleeping ten hours every night.
~ Nursing (secretly) on the hotels lazy river until an exhausted baby finally caved in and went to sleep.
~ The chocolate bar at the Westin. Oh, how I miss you.

Between me, Jason, and Moose (who really enjoys taking pictures of his own face) we have six hundred some pictures. These are a few of my favorite family photos. We had such a wonderful time. Thanks, Face, for working so hard for the family!

Arizona Day Two: Train

2011-04-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

The rest of day one in Arizona was nothing but fun.
There was a stray dog on the train to downtown. Hilarious and sweet little guy. We watched him and played with him until we had to get off the train.
We ate some really good Mexican food.
Played in a few fountains.
And, the Moose began day two this morning by jumping into the pool 65 times in a row.
We got free coupons for drinks at our hotel and since we do not partake of the bar we are able to use them at Starbucks. We did not know this until this morning and we leave in three hours which means Mommy is visiting Starbucks a lot in a small amount of time. Ah, vacation.

Here are some shots from yesterday afternoon.

Today we are off to our train trip to the Grand Canyon for Arizona days two, three, and four! I am hoping that our The World unit study with a focus on deserts and canyons will really come to life for the Moose this week. We spent the last three weeks studying words related to this landscape, making playdough molds of desert plants and canyons,singing silly desert songs, doing pictographs of the canyon life, reading every desert book we could get our hands on, enjoying art and music of the First Nation peoples of Arizona and storytelling with a desert creature, the Tarantula, as our main character. And, now we are there! or actually we are here!!

Arizona Day 1

2011-04-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

The plan was to put the boys in their pajamas at the airport, watch them peacefully glide into slumber, carry them onto the plane and wake them up in Arizona. This was the plan.

Instead......two wild pajama clad children ran amok in the airport until almost ten o'clock last night when our plane finally arrived late. A lady stopped and watched us for a while. She told me I was an amazing mother and then asked if I ever yelled. Moose chimed in. "Oh, yea she yells. She goes like this...." And, he made bear claw with his hands and growled loud and dramatically . I wanted to fall over, perhaps a bit embarrassed. Then he told her that when Mommy did yell she apologized and taught him that yelling does not help, we have to think with wisdom not anger. I shrugged my shoulders. My embarrassment faded, some.

BooBoo fell asleep on the plane and slept solid for the three hour trip. Moose was on a roller coaster of pure exhaustion, panic from the turbulence, anticipation over arrival in Arizona, and emotions I do not know how to describe...something like tears, mixed with every body part moving, added with loud laughter, and slobber. Thankfully, Jason managed to tell some fantastic stories and kept the Moose comfortable until he finally dozed off around eleven.

When we arrived in Arizona Jason looked at me and said : Wow, this is a really small international airport.
He looked nervous as we walked off of our plane and directly onto the tarmak and into a building smaller than our post office. His face went pale. BooBoo peed on me. Moose remained in the above stated disposition except was now laying prostrate on the dirty airport floor mumbling about growing pains and cactus.

We were at the wrong airport.

No shuttles. No rental car. Thirty miles from our hotel.
Seventy dollars and one really happy taxi cab driver later we arrived in Phoenix. Both of the boys loved the cab ride. It was after one in the morning, they were wide eyed, and quiet. Windows down, warm Arizona breeze coming in as we drove along through the city in the desert. Moose looked over at me and said, "I could ride in this taxi forever." I love when he says things like that.

Fast forward. It is two in the morning. Repeat. Two in the morning. The hotel is out of cribs. The boys are awake. awake. awake. awake. And wildly happy. Eating popcorn on the hotel bed. Wrestling. Screaming with joy. Jason and I can not help ourselves. We eat popcorn and encourage them by taking pictures and laughing along side them. Two in the morning, but we are warm and fed and there are pillows nearby.

Sleep came, quickly, after we picked the popcorn out of our sheets. Come morning there were omlettes with spicy sausage, crazy smiles, and swimming pools. Oh, and coffee. Coffee. Coffee.

It is nap time now. All are asleep. Momma is off to the pool for some alone time in the sun while the boys nap. The zoo is on the agenda today and so is mining for Gold. Moose is determined to find dinosaur bones on this trip.

Even at two in the morning, wrong airport, travel weary, hungry and with baby pee on my clothes I have to say I thank the Lord for Jason, Moose and BooBoo Chicky. Moose may be searching far and wide for his treasure, but mine is right here. My family.

Tilling Day!

2011-04-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

In just two hours the acreage went from land to garden. Today, we tilled. We planted. We played. Carrots went in and so did Kale. God bless these seeds we sow. Make our garden grow. Next week as we get further and further away from the danger of spring frost we will plant more varieties of vegetables and herbs.

And, soon...I might get to introduce you to the ladies. As in....chickens. :)

Brothers.

2011-03-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

The Moose: Addicted to shoes. He even has a pair of house shoes. Similar to slippers, but not slippers. House shoes.
He is learning to read and gets adorably frustrated whilst freaking out with excitement at his new abilities. Loves bracelets, rubber bands and music class. Every single day he asks for a chai-tea latte. He collects minerals from the backyard and never comes inside without bringing a stick in with him. He is very proud of turning five soon and has recently decided that although being a big brother is fantastic it is also the hardest job in the world. His current favorite book: Flat Stanley.

Boo-Boo: Addicted to toothbrushes. He is often found with one in his mouth and in each hand. He will go out of his way to locate a toothbrush. He is learning to point to his body parts. Tummy. Eyes. Hair. Knees. If he has no idea what you are talking about he raises his little arms up and gestures I don't know.
He loves anything his brother likes except his motto is throw it or eat it baby, throw it or eat it. He adores the dogs, hides crackers all over the house, and today had both a pear and and apple in his hands, double fisting Boo-Boo style. He laughs hysterically at anything wild, yet it is mandatory for me to hold him when I vacuum. He is fasinated by birds, ducks, squirrels, and the kitchen drawers where he begins each morning faithfully emptying them onto the floor before moving onto locating toothbrushes.He gives kisses like a mad-man, especially at bedtime. His current favorite book: Elephant Ears.

Jason and Katie: Trying to keep up with all the above. Happily.

ps...not sharing any details, but there may be a adoption related announcement soon. :)

Small Details

2011-03-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Moose woke up before the rest of the family. I try to be up early. I like to be up early. But, there are always several weeks ....ok...several months...that I really struggle getting up before my children. If the weather is chilly and the bed warm then a struggle there shall be. Actually, I blame Jason. For a long time I was getting up early and then he just had to have a memory foam mattress cover. That did it. I surrendered. I gave in. I slept in. A lot.

Anyway, back to the story at hand.

Yesterday may have (it was) been one of those mornings where I did not actually get out of bed early enough to rise before my children. Around 7:30 little Moose popped into our bedroom. I felt his presence by the side of my bed. He leaned over and began whispering in my ear.

He was dressed.
He had taken the dogs out to go potty.
He had fed them breakfast.
He had been playing quietly in the playroom.
He thought maybe it was time for Mommy to wake up, he just wanted to let me know that.

All of this on his own.

He and Jason began a conversation. It was so grown up. It was so insightful.

Our little boy is growing into a fine young man.
As he left the room because he heard the call of his brother thus his "personal entertainment services were needed" (his quote!) Jason began to laugh.

"What?", I asked.
"His pants were on backwards.", he said with a grin.
And, then my husband said something that echoed in my heart all day.
"Thank God.", he said.

It was a relief for both of us. Time moves fast, true. Our children grow and grow and grow. But, our little man who suddenly seems to be growing so very rapidly still puts his pants on backwards without a second thought. And, we are relieved for that.

Requested Granted

2011-02-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

There have been a few requests past onto me saying, "Get a new post up!"

I know what this really means is, "Don't care about you, we want to see the kids!"

So, request granted. Feast your eyes on these darlings.

Yes, this is way better than my ramblings. Sweet boys. Darling boys. Wild boys. My boys. Thank the Lord above.

Mom Jeans

2011-01-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

I'm hiking this trail some day start to finish. And, I will do it with my Mom Jeans.

I can marvel at the small seemingly insignificant moment just as good as the next guy. I can appreciate the tiny gestures, gentle languages of unspoken love. I know a good warm cup of tea on a rainy day experience when I come across it.

Today, I came across it. Better yet. Today, I am wearing it.

Katie Brabson is totally rocking the Mom Jeans. And, loving it. Astounded by it. Blogging it.

Mom Jeans, to shed some light on the wardrobe, are high waisted pants that gently press in the abdomen with the feel of soft washed denim. Mom jeans are rounded connecting the front to the back in one fluid stitch of fabric. Nothing fancy. Nothing that screams, "Look at my butt!"
In fact, I have the theory that a good pair of Mom Jeans creates conformity among the rears of the world. In the Mom Jeans all rears appear flat, slightly rounded in the wrong places, and a bit utilitarian. Mom Jeans say, "Yep, thats rights boys. This bottom is here for....sitting."

And, can I tell you how much of a relief it is to find myself in a good pair today. Bought them for a buck. Going to wear them until they are so worn with holes that they are sexy again.

I am almost thirty. Perhaps, its time.
My other pants don't fit. That is what brought me to even reach out and buy the dollar britches today. My other jeans are slightly dated, but significantly more fashion forward than Mom Jeans. They are low cut, long legged, and have a certain crack appeal. Seriously, as I walk in my everyday jeans I am hoisting them side to side, not the simplist of tasks with a baby on the hip, just so that they stay in place and conceal my underthings.

The place: Smokey Mountains. The picture: A one of a kind snapshot of me, holding my two children, looking out peacefully at the majestic mountains. The problem: crack.

My butt crack is showing. There goes that photo for the annual Christmas card.

In low rise jeans, hipsters if you will, my tummy gets rubbed all day by the band of my jeans. My pants fall off. The fabric under my rear gets all saggy like a bathing suit full of sand at the beach. In hipsters, when I bend down, this little muffin top of age, dark chocolate addiction, and motherhood pops up and over the band. Nice. Real nice.

So, in the name of curiosity. No, in the name of adventure, because these days I will take anything I can get, I tried on a pair of one dollar Mom Jeans and let me tell you right now that these babies are whats its all about.

My pants are not falling off. There is no tugging, hoisting, and drooping. Muffin top when I bend? Nope! Darn things keep everything exactly in place, confined within the fabric, not peeking over it like yeast rolls that have been rising too long on a warm day and have outgrown their bowl.

I can hear my friends now. Darling friends. Fashionable. "Katie Lee! Are those Mom Jeans!?" They will say it with a laugh. They will roll their eyes. They will swear it will never happen to them. But, if they are smart they will surrender leaving behind their hipsters and embracing the high waist.

My small marvel today? A revolution in the shape of pants. Mom Jeans, to be exact.

2011-01-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

I got slapped in the face this evening. Pow. Took my very breath away for a moment. Left me standing still, briefly frozen and then suddenly shaken. Hit me right across the head. Darn near toppled me over. Worst part is, I needed it. Bad.

Driving home tonight my emotions were surging up and down with the heaviness. When I am upset my face hardens, eyes focus, and walk with the burden upon my stride as if I am literally carrying something upon my shoulders. Typical, I bet, for many people. I even huff too.

Huff. Walk heavy. Huff. Manage to squeeze out a curse word that momentarily makes me feel powerful. Huff. Apologize for cursing.

My children were asleep when I peeked into check on them. I entered the room on a mission. The plan? Check on the children, cover them up if the blankets had fallen short, and then go clean the kitchen. The plan included dealing with my emotions over dishes.

It was when I entered their room that I received the slap. Needless to say, it changed my plans drastically.

What slapped me?
Its silly really. Silly and perfect. Silly and perfect and healing. Silly and perfect and healing and somehow Holy.

It was beauty.

Here I had entered their bedroom like an overloaded steam engine running low on coal and chugging heavily and painfully along the track. A track that I just may have been on for a long time. And, suddenly the very sight, the very beautiful sight, of their slumber my train derailed and I found myself free to move about the world unconfined to the route I had been traveling upon.

And, from God I know that this appreciation of beauty comes. Beauty is a means of slapping us in the face without causing us harm. It is a way of inviting us into a greater story. It is a reminder that there is more, and it is lovely, and strong, and eternal. Amid trouble, beauty shines through and arouses the soul. If beauty can be found, so can hope.

Moose had fallen asleep with his reading light on. Book covering his chest. Mouth open. Snoring lightly. Finn was bottom up, classic baby sleep pose, still and sweet. The nightlight cast a peaceful glow upon the room, yet even in their sleep my boys seems to have a light of their own illuminating from within. And, that light slapped me right across the noggin forcing the huffs and puffs to turn into whisps of gratitude. I walked out of their room smiling. Hopeful rather than heavy. Grateful rather than grudged.

We desire beauty not because we are frivolous. We desire beauty because a loving God created us with the capacity for finding and treasuring beauty. Beauty wakes us up, rouses our senses, and draws our attention to the whispers of a Savior who says, "I love you, troubled messy soul and all!" And, that....well....that might well be the most beautiful of all.

Hodge Podge

2010-11-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

Some one asked me why I do not blog much anymore. There are a couple of reasons, I will list them. The above picture says a lot though so you can pretty much stop reading.

Reason One: I am on this reduce technology kick. Not sure how long it will last. I am on the computer once a week and by the time I get the things accomplished I need to do I am plum tired of the shiny bright screen and ready for bed. A while back I really started thinking how much time is wasted on the computer, how it so easily disconnects me from real life, and how reliant I had become on the internet. I truly felt as though I had started to use the internet as my source of information rather than first thinking for myself. This occured to me one night while trying to simplify my closet. "I should get online and see how to simplify my closet", I thought. And, then BOOM. I realized, why in the world would I get online for that? I can think of a solution myself. It all began here and has spiraled into something much bigger. I might be a bit of an addictive personality, but rather than alcohol I think I latch onto ideas and drive my husband nuts. The idea right now: Much of what I do is completely counter productive. And, a big part of this relates to technology. We work to afford stuff and then can not use the stuff because we are working. I have a huge washing machine to wash the baskets full of clothes we have. Hmmm....no huge washing machine equals a need for fewer clothes which results in less time washing them to begin with....thus freeing up time for.......(and here there is debate).....some say intellectual pursuit, others say leusire, my thoughts....service. If we had less consuming our time we would have more time for serving one another and in that very act I think we would find both intellectual pursuit and wonderful leusire. Anyway...this is all for another post.

Reason 2: Not online much anymore because I am craving real connections with people. I read an AD today that was for Cheerios. It said, "Join the Conversation" and then had the facebook icon on it. Really? A conversation on facebook. Ugh. I can not express how terribly much I crave (and so enjoy when it occurs!) sitting across a table from a dear friend, over a cup of a java, and having a heart to heart. With computers, even phones, we can so easily control the who's, what's, and when's of our life that I think we must miss many a unexpected blessing.

Reason 3: Having embarked on a mega whole foods adventure I am usually elbow deep in something fermented. Let me explain. Cooking from scratch takes time. And planning. The time I have. The planning I am not so good with. I do not have a lot of time to blog because I am still trying to recover from whatever whole foods mishap I managed to create each day. But, we are healthy and happy and feeling better than we ever have before. So, its worth it. (This actually explain why I am blogging now. I am making yogurt and I have to ad the culture into it....at midnight....because I timed my fermentation wrong. So, now I am awake waiting to ferment a gallon of yogurt. This is the kind of stuff I am talking about. Tried to read my book....that made the ole eye lids close. TV, blah. So, the blog it is.

Reason 4: Moose and Finn
We are in a new phase. I say phase carefully as I think this could be more than a phase. I think this phase could in fact encompass the next twenty years of my life. Not sure. Parents of boys, HELP ME!

Now, that I got that over let me explain. They climb everything. They jump of everything. They run into stuff full steam ahead, slid across the floor into objects, and a triple back flip (ok, that is a tad exaggerated) off of the dining room table all while wearing skates and a smile. My boys are nuts. Nuts. Nuts. Nuts. If its wild. They love it. If its loud they are ecstatic. If it has an element of danger, oh sign us up.If it doesn't comes apart, bet your bottom dollar it will soon. If you can do it with your shirt off, all the better. And, do not forget the band-aids. Last week we had three mega injuries, including the Moose dislocating his elbow after doing a kartwheel over his brother who though the entire ordeal was hysterical. Check out the knot on this kids head in the above picture. Really, this is why I am not blogging. I am "get the ice pack" woman. And, look at Finn climbing up the drawers. Oh Yi Yi Yi. The best part is when I am asked, "Hey Mom~ can YOU do this?" followed by some act of insanity rolled up in an a messy package of adorable and trying boyhood.

Reason 5: I have so much to say right now about so many things that I am overwhelmed and thus not saying much at all. At least on here. But, to make good on a promise to update my blog I will attach a couple of cute snapshots now. Evidence of the past months.

And, Jason and I went to Mexico. Here is my favorite picture from that trip.
As you can see the whole foods thing is really working out.....

So, there you have it. A bunch of excuses and some cute kiddie pictures. Yogurt culture is ready to go, which means I am outta here!

Halloween Pictures!

2010-10-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Just getting started!

Our Dinosaur!

Our Chicken!

Dad, Finn is into my candy again!

Momma and her darlings!

Go Meal Planning Mommies!

2010-10-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we did not make it onto Rachel Ray as the gals are hoping for.....but we did get a little blip on our Alma Maters new reel.

The Meal Planning Mommies are featured on ONU news.

Cool beans. Or better yet as we have 50 pounds of green lentils in the pantry now....Cool Lentils.
Yep, that one will catch on.

~ A tired Katie who has a million things to write about on SuBRABia but can not manage to keep her left eye lid open.

Read me Home

2010-10-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

My Mom has started a new blog. It is called, Read Me Home, and it is all about teaching your children to read....from home...while having fun....and raising bookworms naturally....

Its going to be pretty neat. There is only one post up so far....I know because I wrote it at five this morning....so go read it!

Read Me Home's first Post: A Tradition of Books

Let the timeline begin....

2010-09-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

Our homestudy is almost complete.

Our foster care license is renewed.

We have begun sharing the news with our friends.

We have begun talking with anticipation at home.

I am making this public on our little blog here.

After a little detour (The phenominal and adored Finn!) we are back on the adoption road again!

Up next, immigration paperwork and dossier.

Up next, the waiting, the wondering, the hoping, the praying.

Up next, a child. I do not know who. I do not know when. I only know that when I look around at my family~ my husband and my boys~ I remember a little Cosby Show wisdom:

In a house filled with love and laughs there is always room for more......

(.......well perhaps we need to invest in a wider lens....)

Witness

2010-09-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

The windows in our house are open letting the damp air blow a sticky cool breeze inside. As I work this morning I can hear commotion at the house across the street, a new roof. I can hear the little dog bark, the one that torments my own two beasts. I can hear cars drive past and birds greet the morning.

But, one sound took hold of me. I went running to my back porch. It was silly really.

I heard the voice of a woman. And, even though I know it was not possibly her. I hoped, longed, pretended myself into a sprint that when I peered out my back porch screen I would see the face of my friend, my neighbor, Jane.

Her back yard was empty, her plants still growing strong, the chair she rocked on daily chatting to seemingly everyone in the world on her phone still swinging in the breeze. Jane died last week.

Everything is the same about Jane's house, her trash is even on the curb. To pass by one would have no idea that the home is missing its heart. But, I do and I am reeling inside. Night and day I am struggling to accept her death. Perhaps it is because I live next door, so close, and every day for the last three years Jane's life has intertwined with ours.

Jane would come over for tea. If she thought there was a tornado you could bet there would be a knock at our door. During my pregnancy, particularly when I was on bed rest, Jane brought over freshly made soups. I always knew that I could offer her a hot loaf of bread in exchange for companionship and conversation about feminism, family and herb 101. We walked together in the afternoons around our neighborhood.

"Hi, Ms. Katie! Hi Samuel! Hi Baby Finn!", I can hear her now greeting us each time we go out front, even though there is silence. And, still every day it hurts. Samuel asked me today why I was staring at her house. I had not even realized that I was, but he was right. While backing out of the drive I paused in reflection, it was for a mere moment, but to a four year old eager to get on the road the delay was noticeable. I told him that I was thinking about my friend, missing her. "Me too.", he spoke gently.

Jane and I had a conversation once that keeps coming to mind. Actually, we had this conversation often. Witness. It was a big thing for Jane.

She believed that we must have others witness the moments, events, failures and glories of our life in order to truly process and pass through the experience. She believed that having others witness our life was a critical piece in healthy relationships. I witness your life and you witness mine, together we walk~ and that is how we grow. Very few experiences are to be kept hidden away, isolated, and lonely. Birth, growth, love, accomplishment, surrender, hurt, healing, death...the cycle of our lives meant for sharing with others. For the purpose of encouragement, solidarity, truth.

I witnessed my brother's wedding last week. Because of this, I had the pleasure of watching his face as his bride walked down the isle towards him. Powerful and indisputable is his love.

I witnessed my dearest friend embark on a journey of relying on the Lord for healing, scared yet intensely sure. Because of this, I have the pleasure of celebrating with her in every hurdle she jumps.

I witnessed my sister's grief as she let go of a much beloved pet. Because of this I was able to provide comfort and experience the immense bond between she and I despite the miles between us and our differences in just about everything.

I witness the lives of my husband and my children daily, and here in lies a great portion of my purpose. To witness. To simply be present.

Jane died while we were out of town. Her funeral was held while we were somewhere out in the Smoky Mountains. I missed it. I did not witness it. She would not be upset with me, in fact she would be reprimanding me for carrying this weight in my gut. I know that part of my difficulty in simply letting her go is that I was not present to witness, to celebrate with the others, to bring closure to her life here. And, I am grieving that lost opportunity in addition to grieving a beloved friend.

Every day, at least a hundred times, Samuel says a phrase to me that all parents know well. Finn will no doubt begin to say it not long after he can put words together.

"Watch this, Mommy!"

It is a hassle at times to stop my tasks and "watch this". But, when I do an amazing thing happens. I become a part of the experience. His fun, my fun. His ecstatic double flip off the couch, my ecstatic double flip of the couch. His lesson, my lesson. His pain, my pain. I can bear his burdens, and partake in his joy. By bearing witness we are never alone, and the more we share the stronger the bonds tighten. And, all the more meaningful our labor and our days.

Although we grow and mature, it is not just children that need us to "watch this".

My friend, my neighbor, Jane, is gone from here. I miss her terribly. But, because she allowed me to bear witness to her life I know without a shadow of a doubt that she would find great pleasure in what I am about to say. That, and the glass of wine I am drinking in her honor.

Watch. Witness. Look. Participate. Be Present. See Me. Share Me.
Watch me grow. Watch me learn. Watch me struggle and fail. Watch me struggle and overcome.

And, allow me to witness yours.

Goodbye my friend. Thank you for hundreds of chats on the porch, prayers in the living room, and the privilege you gave me by allowing me to bear witness to your life, the good and the cancer. I love you for it.

A forest and a Plea.

2010-09-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

An aphid brought over to the United States from Europe is killing the trees in the Smoky Mountains.

One tree may not seem like such a big deal.

It is not just one tree though. Global warming is spreading the problem. And, not just here in the Smokies. Beetles in the Pacific northwest are ravaging trees at an alarming rate.

If you are wondering if this is applicable to you, please consider this.
Trees provide us with clean air.
Because of deforestation the we have already destroyed 80% of the earths forests.
Without the trees, our air~ our life source~ becomes toxic.

Each year 2.2 million people a year are killed because of poor outdoor air quality and related complications. (An additional 1.6 million people from indoor pollutants.) Most of these people are already the poorest of the poor, those we are specifically mandated to seek out, care for, provide for, and love.

The world is an incredibly vast place, but interconnected at every single point. A web. A love story. Creation was not simply people. It was the air, water, land, and animal. All of those things matter. Immensely.

Why should you be concerned about tiny little aphids on trees hundreds of miles away from you?
Because they matter. The trees matter to us pragmatically. They matter to us economically. They matter to us spiritually.

The Earth is the Lords, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. Psalms 24:1
The Mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all of the trees of the field will clap their hands.....this will be the Lords renown...Isaiah 55:12-13
Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy, they will sing before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth. Psalms 96:11-13

It is our purpose to care.

Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east.
The Lord God placed man in the Garden of Eden to tend and care for it.
Genesis 2: 8, 15

To tend and care. For the Garden. For Creation. Because it matters.

These two guys here......they matter. And, therefor so do the trees and the aphids and my absolute undeniable purpose to be a wise steward of the land.

Homeschool: Home Ways

2010-08-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Home Ways refer to teaching my boys the art of homemaking, encouraging their domestic independence, and honoring the ebb and flow of our life at home.

We value our home. We care for our property. We all work together to make our house a home. Repeat.

Here our this year's Homeschool Homeways Goals for Moose.

1. Learn to make bed.
2. Learn to sort, fold, and put away laundry.
3. Learn to Dust.
4. Learn to unload the utensils from the dishwasher.
5. Learn to clear and wipe table after meals.
6. Learn to tie up and take out garbage.
7. Learn basic organization with clothes, books, and toys.
8. Learn to set the table for meals appropriately for what is being served.
9. Learn to be a good host.
10. Learn to make a sandwich.
11. Learn to get his own drink.
12. Learn to get his own snack.
13. Learn to use a butter knife.
14. Learn to use a cheese slicer.
15. Learn the what, why, and how's of composting our kitchen waste.
16. Learn to sort our recycling.
17. Learn to mop.
18. Learn to use a broom and dust pan.
19. Learn to handwash dishes.
20. Learn to water our indoor plants.
21. Learn to pull weeds in garden.
22. Learn to vaccum his own room.
23. Learn to feed the dogs.
24. Learn to clean up a spill.
25. Learn how (and when!) to answer the doorbell.
26. Learn to change the toilet paper roll.
27. Learn to fold cloth napkins.
28. Learn how to lock and unlock doors and baby gates.
29. Learn to use an ice cream scooper.
30. Learn to wash fruits and veggies.
31. Learn to clear clutter, re-use, give away, and throw away.
32. Cooking with Mommy and Daddy

There will be more homeways goals added here and there. These are all intentional lessons that will be taught as well as every day tasks that he picks up on simply through participation. He is four. I do not require perfection and I do not go and re-do what he has accomplished. I do require he do the task with an attitude of helpfulness/willingness and his best attention. But, mostly just so you know~ we make these tasks fun and exciting!

I can handle YOU...

2010-08-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

The airline pilot comes over the inflight intercom. There is going to be turbulance ahead. We are entering storm clouds. My body shutters.
Through the speakers the pilot gives directions. Be seated. Fasten my seatbelt.
And, then he speaks words of hope. “Once we are through the storm clouds I anticipate clear skies.”

The pilot can handle the plane. Relief.

As a passenger I need to know that the pilot has pretty much got things under control. I need to know that he has seen storm clouds before, that he laughs in the face of turbulence, and that while I am having my take-off panic attack he is sipping hot tea and taking great care in pushing some important buttons that make all the sense in the world to him.

My eldest son is four. That sentence meant little to me until my own son turned four and somewhere along the sidewalk lost his babyfat only to wake up one morning as Lenny Kravitz meets the Care Bears.

Four year old boys are loud.
Four year old boys are rowdy.
Four year old boys have these little bodies that flip and flop and fly all over the place.
I have some buttons and my four year old has found them. And, sometimes I am pretty darn sure he is pushing them on purpose. Like today.
He tests me. He negotiates. He takes me to the edge. He can create some mighty rocky turbulence.

But, here is the point. Four year olds create turbulence. And, they need to know one thing~ Momma can handle the plane.

I write this because I said something to my child today that really got me thinking.
I sent him to his room and spoke, “I can not handle this!” I might have growled. I was probably a little scary.

If the pilot of an airplane came across the intercom and announced that he could not handle the coming clouds I think I would pee my pants and pass out. Or perhaps, pass out and then pee my pants but either way both would happen.

Children need to know that we can handle them. It makes them feel safe.
If I can handle my son, then he can learn to handle himself. With this he gains confidence and can learn, grow, and thrive.

Moose and Boo Boo Chicken:
I can handle you, baby cakes. And~ more importantly~ I want to. Every day. Every night. Always. Bring it on.

To Make You Feel My Love.

Slip-n-Slide

2010-08-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

Spencer and Ashely, this is for you~

Thanks for the slip and slide!

Listen Here!

2010-08-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

I am typing this for myself. Here is the thing. I am a note taker, a quick jotter, a pen behind the ear kind of gal. Today alone I picked up and counted twelve different notebooks full of my random thoughts, Moose quotes, to-do lists, and tidbits from books. Twelve. And, I have not even made it upstairs to to the van yet. There are more.

I love plain paper. It calls to me. Come write something down. A thought. A hope. Purge for a moment.
Plan. Create. Just write something from your brain and I will hold it here until you are ready to use it.

We are working with teaching Moose the art of listening. That is a nice way of saying that our four year old is more than likely para-sailing off of the roof in his birthday suit than picking up his toys when he as been asked. And, often not out of disobedience but out of his continual and frequent visits to la-la land. A place my voice gets a bit fuzzy. Apparently.

So, here is a list of pretty good little reminders to us Momma's and Daddy's on how to help our kids learn to listen.

1. Model Listening~ Give your spouse your attention, give the person on the phone your attention, give your children your attention when they are speaking to you. Our children will learn from what we demonstrate and live out.

2. Remove distractions~ we do not watch TV, but a distraction in this house is something like a toy. When I am telling something really important to Moose I put his toy down beside us. I learned that when it is in my hands he stares at his, unable to focus, but gently resting buzz lightyear by his side allows him to relax and listen.

3. Touch~ put a hand on the shoulder, hold hands, gently (always!) hold their face, squeeze their toes...whatever...a touch can help create a listening connection.

4. Require eye contact~ I stop speaking if I am not being looked at. When Moose looks back at me, I continue. He has learned the ball is in his court. He looks, I talk, he listens, we are through.

5. Whisper rather than yell.

6. After saying something I have Moose repeat it. Sometimes I throw in a silly something to make sure he is comprehending. He likes that.

Oh geesh, there is tons more but Finn just woke up. Teething today.

At least here is one list I can toss into the recycle bin!

Need a laugh on the subject and a reminder that by not being excellent listeners your kids are actually pretty darn normal? Check out Bill Cosby's "The Apple".

Momma's Helper

2010-08-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

The Meal Planning Mommies had booth at a recent homeschool fair. The other gals could not make it so last minute my Moose offered his services. Ok, so Momma had a breakdown the kitchen tears and all, and my sweet boy said he would do anything to help. I took him up on his offer, put the cutie pie in an apron, and sat him at the booth with me. He did great.

Here we are, breakdown long past, at the first ever Meal Planning Mommies event table.

A Potato Family

2010-07-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Potatoes had families?

I love the garden.

Chicago

2010-07-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

We talk sometimes about moving to a new place. I do not mean a new house. I mean taking a walk. A long walk. We talk late at night about up and moving the entire family to a new state, entirely different scenery, close to something majestic~ the mountains, the ocean, both.

The plan is to homestead, eventually.
That and take a year long trip across the United States in an RV.
Yes, I am serious on both accounts.

But, if we did move away I would miss Chicago. I know there are great cities in the world, I have had the pleasure of visiting many. I do like Chicago though.

If you live near enough to Chicago to make it there on a hot day make sure to visit Millinium Park, bring your bathing suit, camera, and enjoy the water play alongside the happy refreshed city masses.

The Disaster That was Our Train Trip

2010-07-20T20:51:00.000-07:00

My sister, Bethlehem, was visiting us last week. On Friday the little dudes and I hopped onto a train and rode it up to Chicago to drop her off. I was already a bit uneasy about this trip. The last time I journey on an Amtrak I was a month pregnant and spent three days on the Southwest Chief morning sick with no place to go. I still have a bit of PTSD from my days living in the train bathroom.....

I am an adventure buff. I have been all over the world.

A short train ride to Chicago (4 hours) with two small children and back (another four hours)....piece of cake even with the morning sickness memories lingering..... Or so I thought.

1. There were no parking spaces at Amtrak. I drove around and around and around. Finally, I parked illegally in the city parking space until I was able to track down the correct person who issued me a parking permit for the day. Problem solved.

2. Bethlehem and Moose were hungry, we had thirty minutes before our train was to arrive. There was a hot dog joint across the street. I ordered, paid, and within five seconds Moose dropped his dog on the ground, stepped on it and then wanted to know why he could not put it back in his mouth. Bethlehem announced after ordering that she did not like hot dogs.

3. Rushed back to the train station, sweating now, only to hear the announcment. The train was running 45 minutes late. Finn started crying. He was hungry. The original perfect plan had been to feed him on the train. The proud breast feeding momma I am, I sat down to feed him in the crowded station only to realize that I had failed to put on my nursing tank...thus feeding him reavealed not only my personals but a little to much belly skin. Oh well.

4. Still sweating, the AC was off in the train station and it was over 90 degrees outside.

5. Struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. She was heading to Chicago as well, with a two year old and a two month old baby. She had her baby in a car seat, two big bags, and there was no way she could do it all. I offered to help. I loaded up all her luggage on my stroller, put Finn in the carrier, and relied on Moose to open to the doors for me. Bethie helped too. The lady's two year old daughter held onto my hand and then tried to take Moose's precious Buzz Lightyear. When he did not comply, she started throwing a huge screaming fit. Her Momma did nothing. It was awkward. Her screaming made Finn cry. My blood pressure started going up.

6. I walk her, the two year old, my two children, Bethie, and all of our luggage to her train car. I stand there with her stuff while the ridiculous train guy flirts with her. Seriously.

7. After seating her and graciously allowing me to lift her huge heavy bags with Finn in my arms he turns to me and says, "I am sorry we are out of seats. We will have to split you up." No. No. No. No. And, No. They acted like I was being ridiculous that I would not want my four year old son sitting in a seat away from me. I prevailed. They sat us together.....in other people's seats.

8. We stood in the train car while a rather nice conductor guy told two ladies that they had to move. They were mad. It was not particularly comforatable. The conductor said, "I will be the bad guy for you." And then confirmed that there is no way our crew should be split up. Ok, I thought....now for the fun?

9. Nope. Finn spit up all over me, the seat, and the floor. It landed in my diaper bag covering everything in regurgitated milk.

10. Here is where I started taking pictures.

11. Moose stubbed his toe, cutting it up pretty badly on the train door. He is my tough little man. Yea~ he was screaming and crying. It was awful.

.12. He then dropped the nachos he and Aunt Bethie were sharing, fell into the cheese sauce, and knocked over his water.

13. Finn was supposed to be sleeping. Nope.He was into everything. Squirming and squealing and grooving all around. He even managed to untwist the handle on the train seat, which was a ball...and yes...it went rolling down the isle.....

14. Momma (me) realized I had not eaten breakfast or lunch and was starving...not to mention a big headache. I reached down for some of the already gross nachos only to discover they were covered with the aforementioned spilled water. Finn, as you can see, was not in the mood to sleep.

15. Buzz Lightyear got lost and then we had to do a major search for him. Crisis mode.

16. In an attempt to entertain himself Moose put stickers on his face, including his eye lids...which really hurt when he realized that he actually wanted to see again and tried pulling giant stickers off of his eyes.

17. There are not changing tables in train bathrooms. This is the most ridiculous thing in the entire world.

And, yes..this picture is of poop.

18. Still not sleeping.

19. Buzz got playdough caught in his space helmet.

20. Another spill.

Maybe it was not as bad as it seemed. The train arrived two hours late. We were hot, tired, some of us even a bit poopy. But, we made it there and we turned right around and did it again.

Adventure with kids is hard. But, worth the try even when it does not turn out like we think it should. And, here is one reason why~ sometimes that which seems really stressful to us turns out being a really fantastic memory for our kids. Moose and Finn had a blast. So, I guess in the end I did too.

Home Made Cereal

2010-07-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Good Morning. Good Afternoon. Good Evening. Good Granola.

I just posted this over on Meal Planning Mommies, but thought I would share it here as well.

It is so good. Variations of granola has replaced boxed cereal for us, with the exception of Panda Puffs which my boys are addicted too.

Step one: The night before measure out 8 cups of Oats. Place them into a big bowl and add about 1 1/2 cups of water. You want to soak the grains, but there is no need to make them into a soup! Now, add your acid medium. I really like using kefir to soak my oats for granola, it is a powerful probiotic. Add 1 1/2 cups of kefir. Stir and cover with a towel or plate. Let this sit over night. This very important step of soaking your grains will reduce the phytic acid helping your body absorb the amazing nutrients of the grain. To read more about soaking grains visit one of my favorite websites,
Passionate Homemaking. This is also where I learned about this delicious granola recipe!

This is basically what your soaked oats will look like after 12-24 hours of soaking.

Now that your grains have soaked you are ready to make your granola. Straight into the bowl of oats add the following:

3/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/2 cup melted butter
1/2 cup honey
1/2-3/4 cup maple syrup (depending on how sweet you like your cereal!)
1 tsp sea salt
4 tsp cinnamon
4 tsp vanilla extract

Mix it all together well.

Place your granola onto a baking sheet. It takes two baking sheets for me. This is a big batch of cereal! Turn your oven onto 250 degrees and bake this for 2 hours. Using a spatula after two hours, turn the granola and bake for 1-2 more hours. We give it the full four hours, producing a soft and delightful granola. Crunchy, but no crisp...if that makes any sense at all!

Once the granola has finished baking remove it from the baking sheets and back into a large bowl. This is where things get fun for the family. Your foundation is complete, now you get to flavor it up. I recommend adding some organic shredded coconut, unsweetened. I use 1-2 cups.

You can also add things like pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds.

And raisins.

Stir it all up together. You are almost ready to devour it.

Okay, now eat it as a cereal, ice cream topper, snack, however!

This recipes makes five quarts of granola. We store ours in an air tight container in the pantry. I know that it lasts beautifully up to a week, after that I do not know as ours has never made it past a week uneaten!

Some variations to consider might be:
dried blueberries
cranberries
dried apples
figs
prunes
chocolate chips
chopped almonds
chopped walnuts
pumpkin spice

Indian lake, a constant.

2010-07-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

My mom and I do not always agree. One of us is usually rolling eyes towards the other, at times playfully, at times not. The other night, though, she said something that created a lump in my throat. She hit the proverbial nail on the head and I shook my head in silent agreement. I think I even heard my heart whisper a little amen.

The stars were twinkling, three shooting stars had already passed above.
The lake was lapping gently against the shore, smelling sweetly of summer and holding twenty-eight years of my memories within her waters.
The campfire was warm.
A train whistle blew.

"This is my favorite place on earth.", my mom said. I do not think I have ever seen her more content than in that moment. A peace set on her face, she ate another cheese stick and closed her eyes to soak in the lake at night. Indian lake has been a part of our family history for more than just my twenty-eight years. Both of my parents have summered at the lake. My grandparents and my great-grandparents as well. I am the fourth generation to swim, play, jump, relax, and live up my summer at the lake.

My great-grandfather drove the Gracie-Lee, a small wooden motor boat, upon her waters after preaching Sunday afternoons at the tablernacle. Over sixty years ago he placed boulders around the building that to this day children climb upon. The cottages have changed over the course of the years, my favorite being the tiny green cottage that to this very day smells of cedar, a scent I attribute to my great grandmother. That and mashed potatoes.
The lake house now is far from the cottages of my childhood. Beautiful in its own right, still I long for the simplicity of the cottages of before and my grandma's closet~ which served as a make believe dress up room on rainy lake afternoons for my sister, the nieghbor boys and myself.

There is more. Summer romances, finally leading up to the one that mattered.
"It's happening.", my grandfather said as he watched Jason and I together at the lake ten years ago.
My family before the divorce, my family after the divorce. Water balloon fights. Tube dominating quests. Morning sickness. Skinny dipping. Ice cream and parades. Fireworks. Bike rides. Tractor races. Names that make up my history in one place. Ross. Grace. Virginia. Kevin. Debi. Ted. Bev. Spencer. Ellie. Jason. And, names that have been added in my present. Tom. Nati. Bethie. Gracie. Stew. Harold. Samuel. Finn.

Going to the lake this past week was wonderful. We played ourselves exhausted. My children looked beautiful sun-kissed and waterlogged. Jason zipped off on the waverunner every chance he could, he wore his vacation necklace and he grew his beard out scruffy because he knows I like it. There were nights full of movies and chess, bonfires and brownies. There were even a few arguments, but it would not be my family without them.

The lake is a constant for me. It is there that I can hear the voices of those that have gone on before me. It is at the lake where I remember myself as a child. It is the one place that causes my childhood memories and the people I love most to come alive. I struggle remembering my childhood, details that I think should be clear have been lost, I have many questions and gaps about the reality of my life through out my young years~ but not at the lake. Those memories I still have down to the smell of the garage and the sensation of a perfect viva-la-france (jumping off of the boat into the deep green water).

I sat on the grass under shade tree and watched the Moose playing soccer. The sun reflected warmly of off of his brown skin. He was radiant, beautiful, my first darling. Finn crawled across my lap, working hard to taste the handful of green grass he had managed to pull up. He grinned at me through a dribble of slobber and came in for a kiss. Of all the changes that have taken place at the lake, some for the better, some still difficult to grasp I am most pleased that twenty eight years after my first dip in the water I can give this place to my children.

Five generations at Indian Lake. The fifth generation being my own babies and the precious children of my sister too. Perhaps, this more than any other detail of the landscape is why I had to agree with my mom's musings. Indian lake is my favorite place on earth.

Homeschool: Philosophy

2010-06-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

I heard a magic man say, "A day without wonder is a terrible day."

I nodded my head. I wrote it down. The quote has now been added to the list of my home schooling philosophies.

We were on the porch. Moose said, "I wonder if the rain is cold."

It was time for school.

It wasn't cold, by the way. It was the perfect summer rain storm. Warm water, clear blue sky bursting through, and ten minutes of bliss.

Happy Birthday Baby.

2010-06-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

Face,

I wanted to write this huge blog post about you, but it is late now, two days past your 30th birthday, and there are a bumload of dishes in the sink.

I guess I can sum it up pretty easy though. After all, the Rolling Stones already said it.

Wild Horses couldn't drag me away.

Homeschool: Including Dad in Home School

2010-06-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

The home schooling co-op that we belong to and participate with is fantastic. While Moose receives instruction and lessons from authority figures other than me in a social classroom environment I have the opportunity to play with Finn and chat with other Mommies. And, this is mostly what co-op is...Mommies. This makes Friday's fantastic, because Moms need to be around other Moms.

All that aside I have to admit that on Friday's it can be easy to forget something really important...Dads.

It is easy for me to take over home schooling, after all I am the one home during the prime lesson hours. I do most, if not all, of the lesson planning. I keep the records. I seek out the field trips and correlate learning assignments to go along with our travels. I am the one to remember our home school traditions, such as morning circle time and the evening lap book. When me and the hubby go to the book store for coffee on our date night I am the one pouring over curriculum and work books, trying to figure out how I can make them at home rather than buying yet another set of can't live without ABC flashcards.

Today, I walked out onto our front porch and saw a sight that brought tears of gratitude to my eyes.

Jason and Moose were sitting together on our front porch. The rain was pouring down. They had just finished a book. For a few still moments there was no attempts to fly, no climbing the walls, digging in dirt, or bug chasing. Daddy and son, sat sweetly, peacefully, perfectly.

Whether you home school or not remember the importance of Dad in the lives of your children. If you do home school here are some suggestions to help include Dad in the learning.

1. Ask your husband to take over teaching a subject(s) that he excel and enjoys. In our family Jason will be teaching Math. Three nights a week he and Moose have an official Math class in the evening after Jason has returned from work. I also encourage him to take opportunities for "unofficial learning" in every day moments to teach an appreciate for Math and basic concepts.

2. Find a time that works for you to have family devotions and prayer. Dad can lead the devotional time and provide Biblical instruction for the family. Some of the elements that make this a great time are a good children's Bible, a family prayer journal, and a traditional place to gather. In our family we all crash together in big "DaddyMommy Bed". We use book, Jesus Storybook Bible , which is by far the best children's Bible story book that we have ever come across. And, we write down our prayer requests, praises, and special memories/quotes of the day in our journal. We have friends who do this with an additional element that I just love~ they have printed off pictures of loved ones. They choose a picture and as a family pray for that person. It helps their children really connect the prayer with the person.

3. Encourage a Daddy Date Night. In our home we call this "Man Monday". Each Monday night Moose and Daddy (Finn is too young!) go out for what has been dubbed a mantastic time. They have created some great traditions that would never happen if Mom was present....chicken wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, sports chat, and even video games. Even if your child does not return learning an official lesson they have learned something more important~ that Daddy thinks they are special.

4. Praise your husband in front of your kids. Sometimes Moose will come and ask me something that I know Jason could teach. "Go Ask your Dad!", is not only a way for me to get a moment of peace, but a way to involve Daddy some more. I tell my son that his father would be the best person to ask because he is incredibly smart and resourceful, which is true. And, off Moose trots to ask Daddy.

5. This can be a hard one. Let go and let them teach their way. Dad's will not step in and teach if we are always micro-managing them. If their lesson began at the table and ended up in the backyard catching fire-flys than so be it. Letting Dad's find and use their teaching style will encourage them to continue taking more initiative in home schooling the kids with you. Consider yourself a partner with them in teaching even if you teach more often and resist controlling the way they teach. Offer praise frequently and constructive advise when needed, then let them go for it Dad-Style.

6. Mommy filled or not, invite Dad to co-op. Jason took a Friday off from work a few months ago in order to visit co-op and watch Moose present show and tell to his class. There was only one other man present that day in a building full of a hundred woman and children. This day was very significant for Jason on our home school journey. He gained a tremendous amount of confidence in home schooling after seeing first hand the co-op and his son at work. He also was able to partake in the "beaming with joy" as he watched his son stand before the class and present, something Mommy gets to witness weekly. He learned what it was all about, liked it and his investment doubled. Thus ~his involvement increased. So, invite Dad along!

7. Write a blog about Dad's being involved in home schooling and then tell your husband to read it. :)

Including Dad in the official home schooling lessons is significant. We are teaching our children to think for themselves, to navigate through and process information , and to have a love of learning. Having Dad involved in schooling provides your child with an additional set of eyes through which to view the world. Plus, in my case my husband is high energy, plain fun, and well...way better at math!
Good Luck Momma's! Good Luck Daddy's!

ps. My dad if you read this~ thanks for teaching me to think for myself, to love the water, and all the lyrics to Jeremiah was a Bullfrog.Without your involvement in my young life I would not be the gal I am today. And, I am pretty happy being me so thanks.

Just a Minute Mommy

2010-06-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

I asked Moose to set the table. It is his job now, for all three meals. I put the dishes into a basket for him so that he has the appropriate number of dishes, utensils, and napkins. He then sets the table independently, which is not only helpful, but a great way to teach him the art of homeways.

Today I called him. "Come set the table, buddy."
He replied, "Ok, Mommy. Can I just finish reading this book first?"

He had been sitting in the library reading for a good half and hour already. Surely he was nearing the end. I agreed and went on with my task.

About ten minutes later I realized the table was still not set. The little man was in the exact same spot where I had left him before.

"I thought you were going to set the table for Momma.", I said. "What book are you reading?"

He looked up from his book.

"The Bible."

As you can guess I went ahead and set the table for him tonight, it was going to be a while for him to finish his book!

And, now for Finn's shining moment........anyone think he looks like a trucker?

Homeschool: Let em' at it Art

2010-06-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

The Moose now has an art corner in his room.

I have it set up so that independently he can create art. In the desk (which was free on the side of the road) he has a variety of paper. On the wall, in organizers, he has access to things that he has learned to use appropriately~ markers, crayons, scissors, feathers, pipe cleaners, glue, paint, stickers, and colored pencils.

We also gave him two bins, one for trash and the other for recycling paper. It is never to early to teach kids the importance of recycling and how to do this on their own!

He has a container full of old magazines for making collages. This is also useful in practicing cutting with scissors, an activity kids really enjoy!

We do not do any of his formal lessons here. This serves as his creative space...his own office.

Since these pictures were taken we purchased a real office chair for $3.00 at a garage sale. That really made this space, "super fantastic!" as Moose would say.

Moose's Birthday!

2010-06-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have so much to say. However~ after getting up early, celebrating our darling Moose's birthday, sailing my first Thistle, and then dining out with the in-laws this gal is tuckered out.

Highlights~

1. Having 43 people at the movie and our home to celebrate the Moose turning 4. Just glad I made enough cupcakes!
2. Moose tearing off through the yard...and the neighbors yard...with friend Nathan on the back of his new four wheeler, a surprise gift from Uncle Andy and Aunt Mary.
3. Shedding tears of gratitude while praying a blessing over him for the coming year and looking up to see my darling friend Sarah with tear filled eyes too. It is so comforting to know that I have friends who love my children. And, I theirs.
4.Watching a row of children act incredibly grown up eating popcorn and chatting about Toy Story 3. It was hysterical to overhear their precious conversations, hear their insights, and watch them crack up together about their favorite parts of the film.
5. Family and friends, old and new, together under one roof.
6. Hearing my Four Year Old say at the peak of the chaos, "Mommy~ I am so glad your face walked into the door. "
7. Sailing on the lake today with my husband on a Thistle that just finished a regatta.
8. Tucking my worn out boys into bed after a terrific day.

By the way~ we were able to keep the 365 Days of Nothing New for this party thanks to ebay!

Picture of the Day

2010-06-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

Put a sock in it. Hehehe......

Local Flavor: Drive-Thru Coffee Shop

2010-06-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

Weekly the crew (me, Moose and Finn) pile in the Taco (that would be my big fat rusty old green van) and head to a local dive. I have found that I like my town significantly more when I delve into the places that make it unique.

Today it was raining. Scratch that. Today it was drenching, down pouring, mega storming.
Finn was asleep in his car seat. We were hearing reports of flash flooding downtown, but we had to head in that direction for an appointment. Jason and I were scheduled to get our fingerprints done, yet again, for our second adoption. Nothing was going to stop me from getting that done. It is one step closer to welcoming another darling into our home and hearts.

Anyway~ back to the local flavor. I did not want to go into down town because of the possibility for flooding. I also did not want to get Finn out of the car as he was sawing much needed logs.

What to do?

A flashing neon sign saved the day.

Before us, just visible in the rain, was a local coffee joint. It was a stand-alone drive through. Small and welcoming and a tiny tin roof haven from the rain.

After missing it several times, hey one way streets do not bring out the best in me, we pulled up and ordered.

Me~ a medium Breve. Strong expressso with steamed cream.
Moose~ a small Chai tea with an ice cube for good measure.

Here is Moose upon drinking his tea. According to my little local conissour this Chai was "fireworks in his mouth." My breve was perfection on a rain filled afternoon.

We give two thumbs up to our drive-through coffee joint!

Homeschool: Coins

2010-06-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

Here is a fun activity we created to help Moose become familiar with coins. The goals of this assignment was to be able to identify each coin as a penny, nickel, dime, and quarter. We also began work on the basic understanding of each coin's worth. However, it is difficult to grasp that ten pennies is actually less that one quarter. For a three year old ten is more than one!

We began by using his personal piggy bank. I figured that something personal and meaningful to him would engage him better than random change. And, it did.

Step one: Write the value of each coin on index cards and place them in order.
Step two: Empty the piggy bank, talking about each coin. Make a really big deal about them. It is how kids become familiar with them and begin associating the proper names with the coins.
Step three: Together, sort the coins according to type.
Step four: Place the coins next to the correct index card/value. Count how many of each you have.

Step five: Create a graph and chart how much money is in the piggy bank. Talk about how many pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters. Add it all up by type and then add it all up together giving a total for money saved. I had Moose draw X amount of circles for each coin. For example, he had six nickels so on the chart he drew six circles in the nickel row.

Talk together about identifying factors of the coins.
What makes them different?
What makes them similar?
How can you tell them apart?
What pictures are on them?
What is your favorite?
Which would you rather have?

Have fun with it and if you like give the darling and opportunity to earn some more change~ after this assignment Moose was very motivated to do a few extra special chores around the house in exchange for a few more dimes and nickels!

Metamorphosis

2010-06-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

I titled this post Metamorphosis because that is taking place here at SuBRABia, but mostly because my brother uses this word often. When I hear this word I think of him. He is in Ecuador now and I miss him. Thus~ for Spencer~ I write Metamorphosis.

Food is changing my life. Our life. And, I am talking real food friends. The kind of food that has a history. The kind of food that has nourished mankind for thousands of years. When I prepare it for my family and partake of it there is a satisfaction that reaches the spirit.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

I am moving beyond the childish way of looking at food, at least my childish way of viewing it. Its all pretty simple. Thousand year old whole grains, naturally grown and cared for produce, pure raw dairy, and meat raised ethically and honorably (thus healthy!) all make me hear a still small voice from my provider. He says something like this, "See. Now isn't that better. Silly girl, I have provided you with my creation and will sustain and nourish you. "

Mostly, this food adventure is bringing our family back to the way we should be eating. Food.
I have always been a nature girl, but now I see nature in a new light. I have always carried in awe for God because of the beauty of His creation. The newness comes in a significant abundance of trust that has grow in my heart as I see the food he has provided for us all along. Somehow, it just got lost for me in the maze of fancy packages, factory made minute meals, and tubs of fake butter.

I see now, perhaps only in part as if looking through a poor reflection in a mirror, but in part is a whole lot better than before. Over at Meal Planning Mommies this change is starting to show in my meal plans. Today I made our crackers, started a loaf of whole grain bread made with Kasha, and set aside millet and peaches for breakfast and began soaking the oatmeal for granola in goat milk kefir.

Never will I be able to go back to the way it was before. Metamorphosis. (And, yes I know this word describes the biological change of an animal....but again it was for Spencer and in a way this food change is changing our biology!)

Today~ I officially joined a natural food co-op. I ordered wheat berries (soft and hard), spelt berries, and kamut to experiment with milling my own grains. I also ordered kefir, vanilla beans for making my own vanilla, ginormous bags of beans, and oats.

Mill, you say? Wasn't that one of your items that you were looking for at garage sales (in order to not break the 365 days of nothing new!)?

Yes! And, now I have one. Oh...and its a good one. My Grandma has been so supportive of my food journey. She has listened to me ramble on for months now. She was the only one to not laugh at me when I toted my 1970's green blender to her house in an attempt to not go without our daily green smoothie. On her own accord she has blessed us with a Blendtec. It is an early Christmas gift. And, we are so thankful for her support and interest. The Blendtec is seriously the best of the best~ and so is my Grandma.

So, now just for funsies....gotta love that word....here is a picture of me with a cabbage. Why?

I have no idea. I think because I saw the cabbage and thought it resembled my face or something. It was late.

Go eat something healthy. Something real. And, for goodnesss sakes use butter.

Pictures of the Day

2010-05-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

Took these pictures yesterday and today. They pretty much sum up things around here.

We are in a total Toy Story phase. Not a day goes by that Woody doesn't wonder into the backyard. We are also in lion phase too. So, most of time we are actually pretending to be lions who are pretending to be Buzz lightyear. Its complicated. This is why I got a master's degree.

Moose had his first official pool party of the summer. Darn cute is all I have to say. And, yes these are three Habishaws (Ethiopians!) splosh-splashing around.

Its good when your head is big enough to provide censorship on the Internet. Finn (who recently has been affectionately dubbed Boo-boo Chicken) is mighty close to crawling!

These next pictures are my favorite. They just capture the every day moments here in SuBRABia. Notice a trend?

We are wild. And, happy.

A Penny in a Fountian Wish.

2010-05-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

On Tuesdays my little crew and I head to the public library. We drive around downtown until we find a parking spot open and then I (on hands and knees) go under every seat looking for meter change as I always forget to bring it. Most days we find enough loose change to give us a few hours of play time. Moose walks beside me and Finn is strapped to me by way of a mei-tai. Daddy is in our conversation as we point out things in passing windows we know he would enjoy.
Before we go to the library, which opens at 10, we head over to a local breakfast joint and have a Mommy and Boys Breakfast Date-a-Palooza. On Tuesdays we add "Palooza" to everything we say. Its just how we roll around here. Anyway~ after coffee, omletes, and fending of the old men from squeezing my children's cheeks we head down the street to the library. There is a fountain on the way which we stop and make wishes into. This is such a darling way of hearing the inner thoughts of my three year old. I wish for a Buzz Lightyear on my birthday. I wish that brother will not be afraid of the thunder storm. I wish for everyone to have pennies.

Library time is great. Books, puzzles, a breastfeeding pit-stop, puppet shows, and more books. Remember its a book-a-palooza kind of day. On Tuesdays I let Moose skip his nap and enjoy the excitement of new reads. We find a reading knook, which today was in the bay window, and he reads for the duration of what would be his nap time. Finn sleeps and Mommy, well, I get to dive right into my new books too. Tuesdays are one of our favorite days of the week around here.

To put the icing on the cake when we arrived home this afternoon a booming thunderstorm had just rolled in. I tossed lunch into a basket and plopped the crew onto the front porch. We sat together eating delicious simple whole foods...home made hummus, fresh plain snow peas, millet cake, and just brewed green tea. We oooed and awed the storm, felt the fresh wind on our faces, and waved goodbye as the dark clouds rolled past.

This is thunderstorm season. Find a safe spot and take advantage of some of the best "entertainment" you can ever provide your children with~ nature.

Be grateful for good food, be in awe of thunderstorms, and find a moment today to stop and read with your children. This is my penny in downtown fountian wish for you today.

Description Change (Yet Again)

2010-05-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

When I began this blog (feeling totally and completely behind the times) several years back I called it: One Particular Harbor: Motherhood, Adventure and the Art of Having Both.

I liked that. Still do.

Then, I came up with the catchy SuBRABia. A little self-coined descriptive word that points the lively life the Brabsons lead here in a fairly typical mid-western suburb. My tagline was Country Living in the Burbs as though we are suburbanites many of our pursuits have been rural in their nature.

Recently, I switched to SuBRABia: A Suburban Mommy's Quest to Play Fair.

I like this despite it being short lived. I might bring it back. Playing fair is a reference to living a life of stewardship, compassion, and leaving as little mess as possible for the next generation.

As you can see I have changed the tagline again. I still write about having adventures while in the MH. (MH stands for Mommy-Hood for those of you still reading). I still rambling on about combining aspects of country living with a content life in the Burbs. And, I most definitely will continue writing about topics such as fairtrade, justice, and environmental care. Despite the name change, this momma is still on a quest to play fair. I want my life to pass on blessings to my children's children.

So, let me explain my newest blog description.

Nurturing the Homemade Against Corporate Encroachment.

It sounds serious, doesn't it?! Yikes. I might make the title in pink so that it does not read as angry, because angry I am not. Concerned, rather. Hopeful, for certain.

Ok, so read it again in a pretty pink color.

Nurturing the Homemade Against Corporate Encroachment.

I gave SuBRABia this new tittle because it is actually what I do. I am a homemaker.
A few weeks back I was asked in front of a crowd to answer what I do for a living.

This normally talkative, opinionated, and far from crowd shy lady began stumbling over my words.

Immediately I wanted the crowd to know that I am educated. Afterall, I have a master's degree in a fine, every growing, and very specialized profession. I have held jobs that were immensely difficult, required years of training, and I succeeded at my tasks remarkably. Blah, de, Blah, and so forth.

My cheeks turned red.

Could I admit in front of all these professionals that I am a homemaker? What assumptions would they draw? Certainly they would write me of as uninteresting, someone who has not achieved much, as a woman not fulfilling her potential in the eyes of our increasingly office/media focused culture.

Instead of saying homemaker I mumbled out something about being a Stay-at-home Mom. This was a woosie answer. Very few people argue with the tending and caring for children. Claiming to be a Stay-At-Home Mom is the last socially acceptable title for gals like me. It implies that at least we are spending time productively rearing babies, although certainly there are better pursuits to be had once they are of school-age.

This was a woosie answer. I am not simply a stay at home mom. The care, education, healthy, nurturing, and formation of my children is my utmost responsibility~ true. However, the activities that consume my day and run long into my evenings expand beyond the precious wiping sticky fingers and singing ABC's.

Perhaps even more rapidly than rainforest's are disappearing the domestics arts are being vanished. Just two generations back men and women were capable of a level of self-sufficiency that most of us can not even spell today. It is too bad that my great-grandmother's are gone from here because without their knowledge I would be hard pressed for survival if the world truly went haywire making modern day consuming and technology impossible. When tragedy strikes we yearn for the comforts of home. There is nothing better than a clean warm bed, a freshly prepared meal for the soul, small reminders of the home. I read yesterday that in the aftermath of 911 a local baker dished out a dozen bowls full of Apple Brown Betty because this comfort food, this simple and small dish from home, was a balm to the soul of many. You can read the story here. I have never heard packaged crackers being a balm to the soul.

The domestic arts are important. Even the trivial ones such as cleaning. Fly Lady says, providing your family with a clean toilet to puke in is one of the best ways to show your love for them. After three solid months of morning sickness with Finn I have to agree with her.

The work of homemakers goes without a name, without a witness. There is great cultural danger in that for having a name, having a witness are vital to significance and ultimately to the survival of the domestic arts themselves.

It is true that homemakers, especially with young children in tow, can go for an entire day without having a linear thought. The work done on Monday is often repeated on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and so forth. There are days homemakers, because of solitude (which is not the way it is supposed to be!) may even feel they are fading into the Wallpaper. Yes, I have read and enjoyed Charlotte Perkins1892 essay.

So, then why do the trivial? Why make something that can be produced and packaged by corporations my full time occupation? Because I believe it to be important. Without homemakers (woman or

Who has the time to make things from scratch, to clean the tub, to line dry the sheets? Who has the time these days to make cookies in the evening and keep a garden? Who really has the time for Halloween costumes made rather than bought and raising bookworms amid the heavy call of media?
Who has time to sew cloth napkins, ensure precious traditions are carried on, and serve three wholesome meals a day? Who has the time to learn skills which vanished before they could be passed down from grandmother's hands ridiculously enough through community classes, reading, and a heck of a lot of trial and error?

Oh, this is my favorite part.

I do. I am Katie Brabson. I am a homemaker. And, I have the time.

Featured on Delicious Ambiguity

2010-05-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Hey~ a little ditty I wrote was featured on a popular mom blog called Delicious Ambiguity. Moose has his picture up there, its darn cute.

The post featured is on behalf of Meal Planning Mommies. Boy-oh-boy we are sure proud of the things happening over there. It is growing daily. We have our own business cards. And, did you know we have even had speaking engagements!

Anyway, no need to promote it. But~ do check out my feature post!

Katie's Post Featured on Delicious Ambiguity

Update on 365 Days of Nothing New

2010-05-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

I decided it was time for a two month update on my comittment to purchase nothing new for 365 days.

Mother's Day has been the only deal breaker and it was with great frustration that it happened. I ordered FREE prints for both my mother and my mother-in-law for the day. The prints were a Walgreens deal and I paid absolutely nothing, not even tax. I was super excited about this because of how it permitted me to give a gift and not break the commitment.

I simply gave my mother the picture collage, a hug, and wished her a happy Mother's Day. Jason, on the other hand, wanted his mother to have a frame. He did not mention this until we were at his mother's house. There is a fair trade store in Bloomington. My first thought was to drive across town and purchase a frame there~ but, they were closed.

Jason insisted. We went through old frames his mother had laying around her house. She did not have a single 8x10! On my own, missing dinner, I drove around town trying to keep my committment.
Goodwill~ did not accept credit cards.
Dollar Store~ did not accept our type of credit card.

Finally, I just went to Walgreens and caved. I bought a brand new frame for $5.99 on clearance. The dumb frame cost a lot more in carbon by the time you calculate my gas consumption. To balance it out a bit I donated my SWAG bucks to purchase the planting of a tree.

SWAG bucks, by the way, are a great way to earn "points" that can reedeemed for all sorts of things. I like using them for FREE Itunes and trees!

Aside from this picture frame (Grrrr!) I have kept my nothing new committment. A few silly purchases have been made, but all second hand at garage sales.

This list of "needs/wants" has been reduced:

~~White Shir~~t (Thanks, Bee!!!!!!!!!)
~~King Size Mattress Cover~~ (Thanks, D and L!!!)
Dehydrator
Grain Mill
~~Mixer~~ (Thanks, Garage Sale Addicted Hubby!!)

10 more months to go. I am going to make it, hopefully with no more last minute picture frame catastrophes!

Now~ go and make these cookies! Amazing cookies!!! Mouth watering!!! Delicious!

Whole Foods Resource.

2010-05-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share with you one of my absolute favorite cooking resources.

Rarely, anymore, do I buy a book. Most of the time I am content to simply check it out from the library~ sometimes repeatedly. This book is buy worthy!

Not only are the recipes great, but the author is like the whole-foods guru and gives amazing information on whole-grain cooking.

She has rocked our world much to my imitation cheese loving husbands dismay.

For breakfast this morning I made Millet with Peaches.
I set some of the Millet aside and pureed baby food for Finn.
Then, I took the remaining Millet and used it in making starter dough for some whole-grain bread.

And, all of this because of reading Feeding for the Whole Family.

Millet is one of the oldest foods known to man-kind. And, it is tremendously good for our bodies. Last month I had never heard of Millet and now it is going to be ingrained (he he, pun!) into the way our family eats!

Have Coconut, Will Travel.

2010-05-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

My brother graduated from college this month. He is he leaving for Equator this week. He is getting married this summer. He was born with two different colors of hair split right down the middle. And, now he is blogging.

Spencer's Blog: Straddling the Equator has it's first post and just to peak your interest even more I will give you a teaser. The first post he is already talking about wearing tights.

Come on now~ you have plenty of time. Go give my brother's ramblings on life, adventure, and men wearing tights a read.

"Wait!", you say. "Isn't he the guy that flipped his sailboat last summer? You know, the guy we all got a good laugh out of?"

One in the same.

Homeschool: Various Projects

2010-05-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a few fun ideas for use with preschool/pre-K kiddos.

Montessori in the Kitchen~ I wanted to help Moose become more independent in the kitchen. With independence a child can become more confident and capable. As Moose shows he is responsible he is given more freedom in the kitchen. I moved many of our dishes that he uses to a level that he can reach, this way he can access them on his own. In addition, he can put them away when it is time to clean up. We have completed lessons on how to get his own drink, how to set table, and we are currently working on how to use utensils such as a peeler and mixer. One of my favorite (continuous) lessons is in helping the family through setting the table. Before I go to bed at night I put our breakfast dishes into a basket. Moose wakes up in the morning and before he can play he has the job of setting the table for breakfast. After two weeks of gentle reminders (ie: You don't have the freedom to play until the table is set) he is now doing this job on his own and doing it very well. He has integrated this "job" into just something that has to be done to help the family get going in the morning and it has become an enjoyable part of the morning. He is proud of himself and we sure are too.

Matching Name Game~ To help teach Mussie to recognize, spell, and read his name I created this little game. First, write the name clearly on a piece of paper. Then write the name again but cut it up into individual letters. Moose sits at the table and matches up the letters. As he does this we talk about the sounds and how they work together to make his name. He really enjoys this game. When he is ready I will remove the matching element and have him spell is name using the cut-up letters.

Bean Count~ We took five cups and labeled them 1-5. I gave Moose a "cheat sheet" with the numbers 1-5 in order. We used dried pinto beans and played several games. The object was to practice counting, sorting, and number recognition. In addition the games also worked on recognizing quantity. It is foundational math that is fun! He had to put the appropriate amount of pinto beans into each cup. Example: three pinto beans into the cup numbered "3". We did this with the cups in order several times and then mixed the order up to really work on number recognition. The games you can play with pinto beans, numbers, and cups are endless!

Paint Monster~ Kids respond to the promise of a mess! Take a sheet of paper, water down some kid safe paint and blow the paint to smithereens! This was a great activity to explore what colors are created when primary colors mix together. It was also just pure simple fun with the imagination.

Book Eating~ Self-Explanatory. (Hehe).

Lookie What I can Do!!

2010-05-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

A Night By Grace

2010-05-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

We all know things that we do not know we know. You know?
We all know things that sometimes we just need some one else to say outloud or write down and then the light bulb goes off and we proclaim,"I knew that already!"
Every now and then we need another person to remind us of what we already knew, to phrase it in a new way, to shed a different light on the same information.

I just read a book. The best line, the "I ALREADY KNEW THAT!", but had forgotten it line:

Raise your children the way that God raises his.

Now, please take your place behind me in the line of parents who have made terrible mistakes. Please take your place behind me in the line of parents who have responded harshly, made mountains out of mole-hills, over reacted, yelled, hurt, and wrongfully embarressed your children. Exasperated them? Oh, yes I am in that line already too.

But, my goodness there steps in Grace. God gives it to me. Freely. Lovingly. Happily. And out of the line of shameful parenting moments I step and into the arms of a loving father.

The message is kind of like this: Your a piece of work, Katie. And I love you. I love you. I love you . I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Get my point?

Last night we had a crisis.
And, oh boy it was a big one. Not to me so much. Nor Jason. Finn could have cared less.
Moose, however, was deeply concerned and affected.

Somehow, someway a big fat irritating fly got into our house. It showed up about the time we were bathing the boys and preparing to put them in bed. The spastic thing went up and down and all around. While it must have been down stairs it slipped our minds and we followed through with our bedtime routine. Books were read, kisses given, prayers spoken, and a handful of other precious exchanges made. About twenty minutes after he had gone to bed Moose began crying.

This is very unusual.

I darted upstairs to find him, sobbing, covers pulled up to his tear filled eyes. The fly was now not only irritating, but terrifying. It was buzzing like a maniac through his room lingering by the nightlight next to his bed. I kissed him. Shooed the fly away and thought the problem solved.

A few minutes later......

The fly was back. The tears were back.
Daddy was called up to defeat the fly. Come back with your shield or on it, he was told. (Any 300 fans out there?)

No luck. The fly alluded us.
Moose asked to go into our bed. He just knew the fly would not bother him there. Plus, just the very idea of the big mommy and daddy bed provides the cushion of safety and security for youngsters.

He was in our bed, tucked in (again) and back downstairs we went.
Finally. I get a moment to myself.

About a half and hour later I hear a noise upstairs. I peeked around the corner and there, sitting quietly at the top of the steps was our Moose. Now, we have a very strict "no one gets out of bed without asking" policy. Technically, getting out of bed and sitting on the top step is a major breakage of the rule. And, as my eyes met with Mussie's we both wondered what was going to happen next.

My mommy mind, exhausted at this point, had two very clear thoughts pass by it.
#1~ What is he doing? AH! It is way past bedtime. He has broken our rules and gotten out of his bed. What should his consequence be? Is this going to be a new habit that we will have to deal with? How long has he been sitting here. I just want him to go to sleep and I really need time to sit down myself.

and then......grace.....

#2~ Geesh, poor kid. He knows he is breaking a rule and he looks terrified. I wonder what would have made him choose disobedience and risk a conquence? I remember being afraid as a child. Shoot, I do not like being afraid now. How can I help him get to sleep so that he can have a better day tomorrow? How can I take care of him so that he does not have to ever sit here afraid and alone on our top step again?

I sat next to him on that top step. We chatted, briefly. The fly was still aloof and my child was afraid. He was not trying to be disobedient or sneaky or a pest. He was responding out of fear and the top step gave him a sense of security. From there, he stated, he could make sure the fly did not go into his brother's room. From the top step he could see the fly coming so that it did not sneak up on him. All he wanted was for the fly to go back outside.

Eventually, the fly problem was solved. As soon as Moose felt safe sleep came quickly to him.
And, yes I even got a few moments to myself.

All I could think was how thankful I was to have responded to Moose with GRACE rather than some ridiculous rant about how he was breaking rules.

We give grace to our children when we listen to them.
We give grace to our children when we do not berate them.
We give grace to our children when we sacrifice to let them know that what matters to them matter to us. Even if that means spending the evening chasing a dumb fly around the house so that sleep can finally come to a tired child.

If you already knew that, forgive me for repeating it. If you knew it, but forgot then I hope my little story encourages you to stamp the word Grace upon your heart and parent your children the way God parents his....

A Day For Blooming

2010-05-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

There is only so much that a Momma can take. And, no I am not referring to late night feedings, waking up at six ready to roll and spilled grape juice on the mattress after a three year old decided to see if he could catapolt over it blindfolded.

There is only so much that a Momma can take actually refers to heart beating, pride rising, warm fuzzyness mixed with a frantic, panicked desire to halt time in the present.

Heh?

My kids are growing up.
And, I am darn proud.
But, whoowhee they are growing up on me mighty fast.

In one day the following giagantic magnificent feats of maturity occured here in SuBRABia. Hold on tight, dear readers, this is news.

1). Finn was lying on his back, staring up at a mobile, when all of a sudden he arched his little self, lifted his hips and BOOM the child was flipped over onto his tummy ready to take off. He smiled and then proceeded to flip and flop back and forth incredibly pleased with his new found ability. Unfortunately (he learned this from his mommy, shame on me) big brother responded by saying, "Holy Freaking Cow!" to which I had to agree despite my resistance to permit him to say "Holy", "Freaking" and "Cow" in the same sentence.

And, here is the one that brought tears to my eyes.

2). I sat on my front porch, Finn in arms, as my little baby (he would correct me here and say, "Big Boy") The Moose trotted off all by his lonesome to a friends house. Ok, correction. He was not alone, he was with his friend who is four years old and they live next door....but still MOMMY did not walk him over there. That little man with his oversized LA Dodgers hat walked in those flip-flops just as confident and grown up as he could be. My favorite part~ when he turned at the end of the driveway and gave me a sneaky wave goodbye before racing down the sidewalk in pursuit of play.

And, both of these things happened in the same day. This Momma's heart was full, exhausted, and a bit proud.

You know, we give them bed times and boundaries and monitor their sugar intake~ but these little darlings are their own people and they grow up. It is such a pleasure seeing who they are becoming. There is a little bit of Jason in there. A little bit of me too. But, my favorite part is that little bit that belongs to an entirely new creation of God. That bit which is entirely and completely Moose. That bit which is entirely and completely Finn.

So, to end on a note that might make you smile~

Moose came running upstairs yesterday and proclaimed, "Momma~ for Christmas I am going to ask for a Man-Basket for my bike!"

"Heh?", I asked intelligently.

"I can put Finn into the basket and ride him around!"

He was not kidding.

If any of you know where I can get said "Man-Basket" for his bike please let me know. No worries, though, we won't put the baby in the basket....

Now, go hug your children. Even if they are big. Especially if they are big.

Diaper Deal

2010-04-27T19:35:00.001-07:00

Friends who are knee deep in diapering, wiping, and randomly finding poo in strange places ~ I wanted to share a deal with you.

7th Generations Diapers have deal going on right now through both Amazon.com and Diapers.com. I like 7th Generation diapers as they are thin, simple, and made with out any toxic chemicals unlike other diapers. In addition, they are much better for the environment as they do not release chlorine back into the earth. We cloth during the day, but I use a disposable at night and when we travel. 7th Generations are my favorite.

Here is the dealio for you:

Go to Diapers.com and sign up as a new user.
Add 7th Generation Diapers to your cart. (Save 10% more on both if you buy their wipes too. Use code SGEarth1 for this!)
At check out use the code Subrabia for $10.00 of your order AND free shipping AND a five dollar credit that you can use towards the purchase.
Then, as a new customer you can receive a rebate of an additional $10.00 for opting to not have a parenting magazine sent to you. (I have not done this part yet, apparently it is in the box they ship the diapers).
Plus, if you have any diaper coupons at home (there are some 7th gen available!) you can mail then into Diapers.com and they will accept them towards your purchase.

Not too shabby. If you do not like 7th Generation diapers there are many other earth friendly options on sale and there are even coupons you can use listed on the site. But, don't forget to use the Subrabia code at check out so that both you and I get additional discounts!

Cinnamon, What the heck?

2010-04-25T19:44:00.001-07:00

Disgusting.

Jason brought home a cinnamon roll in a tidy little plastic package. It was given to him. It is still sitting on our counter and will be until I finally get tired of it and sneak it to the dogs.

Listen to this, rather read, but pretend that I am reading it to you with a disgusted and dramatic voice.

Seriously.

Ingredients:

Enriched Wheat Flour
Niancin
Thiamin Mononitrate
Riboflavin
Folic Acid
Canola Oil
Cottonseed Oil
Sugar
Water
Eggs
High Fructose corn syrup
Egg whites
Milk
Cream
Cheese Cultures
Salt stabilizers
Carob bean Gum
Brown Sugar
Cinnamon
Yeast
Corn Syrup
Whey
Vegetable Mono and Diglycerides
TBHQ
Natural and Artificial flavors
Artificial colors
corn starch
soy letchin
sodium stearoyl lactylate
ascorbic acid
Vitamin A palmitate
food starch modified
citric acid
sodium bicarbonate
monocalcium phosphate
tapioca dextrin
agar
cellulose gel
dextrose
turmeric
apo carotenal
alcohol
alpha tocopherol
sodium benzoate
calcium propionate
potassium sorbate

People. Let me tell you what is in the cinnamon rolls that I make.

Flour. Yeast. Sugar. Cinnamon. Eggs.

Think about what you are eating.

And, to end on a seriously messed up note my darling husband actually said this quote a few nights ago:

"Uhm, Honey, I ate a bean burrito, taco, cheese sauce and a glass of water. That is about as healthy as you can get."

Oh Mercy.

Thred-Up

2010-04-23T22:28:00.001-07:00

365 Day of nothing new. There are some limitations. If something in the house breaks...or the car needs a new part in order to run the "new" rule can be waived. Food/Hygiene items do not count, obviously. And, I have given myself one material exception~ photographs of my children. However, I do usually purchase these only when there are amazing (as in FREE) sales online.

But, aside from this we are embarking on one entire year, 365 days of nothing new.
No shopping at the mall.
No browsing Target.
No books from Borders.
Etc....etc....etc....

One year.

This means that I will purchases clothes (when needed at all) through thrift shops, consignment shops, and at garage sales. Books can be borrowed from the library and when I must have one (oh, and that does happen!) I will purchase it used online.

Birthdays? Christmas? Yep, still applies. Nothing new. There is one small caveat for gifts, however~ if we are purchasing a gift for someone we can buy new as long as the gift is fair trade and thus by the purchasing we are helping another.

This challenge is not going to be easy for me. But, with every fiber of my being I am excited to be doing this. My hope is that this challenge will show me how little I need to be content. I am hopeful that this challenge will help me save money to be applied towards the adoption of Baby "G" and humanitarian projects we pursue. I am hopeful that this projects helps me lead my family into more economic and ecological responsibility. And, furthermore it is a challenge grounded in my belief that no fabric is beautiful if it is made at the expense of another...which happens all to often the current clothing/goods market.

Today, I found a fantastic resource to assist with my 356 day challenge. It is called Thred-Up. On this site I can not only let others take used clothing no longer needed by my boys, but for $13 I can have a box of used clothing shipping to my front door to dress my little dudes.

Don't get me wrong. I have a wish list that I would love to go ahead and splurge on. Shoot, I will write it down.

1. A dehydrator (for drying fruit) 2. A really good blender for making our daily green smoothie 3. A wheat grinder (manual or electric) 4. A king size mattress pad 5. A great plain white t-shirt

That's the list. And, I am bound and determined to buy them used. Each Saturday we venture out and hit the local garage sales. I bought my blender for $2 last Saturday and it has made perfect green smoothies each morning thus far.

I am now 20 days in my 365. Tomorrow we are going out to some rummage sales and you guessed it I am on the hunt for the items on my list. Jason does a pretty cool thing. He shops at garage sales for finds that he knows are worth more money online. He buys things for a few dollars and then sells them for more. Last year he bought our family a TV entirely from money he earned through garage sale treasure hunting. That was pretty cool.

I am saying no to new this year. I do not need new.

If anyone knows of other great resources (like Thred-Up) to help with my 365 Days of Nothing New let me know! Oh, and if anyone has anything on my list that you are wanting to part with I will barter for it!!

Manifesto

2010-04-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

Here it is. The list of baby steps that we are taking. I feel a bit wobbly, but totally and completely excited. So, let me hollar out a "Whoop Whoop!" to express myself best. Here is the simple truth. I believe that God created this here world and beyond. I believe we are to be good stewards of this here earth, both taking care of nature and one another. This is done through responsibility, intention, and at times sacrifice. I am one suburban mommy with a ridiculous wonderlust and a contanst hankering for dark chocolate~ but I am also a powerful leader in my home and for my darling little dudes. I want them to know Jesus. I want them to see the penguins arrive on the shores of Austrailia some day. I want them to care deeply for the lives of others. Here is a start, a tangible start to being intentional at home in the little things we do....

The Brabson Family Earth Day Manifesto

~ Our recycle bins will be larger than our trash can.
~With the exeption of toilet paper we will no longer be using paper products. This includes paper towels, paper plates (including birthday parties!), wrapping paper, and napkins.
~At home I will use cloth diapers. (Note: My first darling was a 100% cloth buttomed baby even when we traveled. I am giving myself a break and using disposable when we travel.)
~We will only purchase coffee and chocolate that is ethically grown and fairly traded.
~When we fly we will purchase carbon credits or find other creative ways of off setting the environmental impact of our flight. (For our Texas trip we made four flights, to off set this we dontated to have four trees planted).
~We will intentionally make purchases that have minimal packaging and when at all possible are used goods.
~All of our home cleaning products will be biodegradable and toxin free.
~We will support local organic farmers through purchasing thier produce and meat.
(We joined a Community Supported Agriculture program in order to make this committment happen. More on this later as it will really change the manner in which I meal plan!)
~ We will eat vegetarian meals three nights a week and significantly decrease the amount of processed food we eat.
~We will shop secod hand for clothing and when we can not do this we will purchase fair trade items.
~ We will not use the air conditioning until July. (We did it last year, we can do it again! I say this to encourage myself!!)
~ We will plant only native plants that need less water to survive in our landscaping.
~ Our home garden will be organic.
~We will treat the mosquitos in our back yard (grrrrr...) without the use of chemicals.
~We will compost our food waste and use the compost to help our garden grow.
~We will use our laundry line during the summertime and pretend we do not have a dryer, unless we absolutely must.
~ We no longer pre-heat our oven and we turn it off before our food is finished baking to take advantage of the already hot oven and save energy.
~We will buy skin and hair care products that are safe for our skin and the environment.
~We will remember to pack the reusabale grocery bags.
~We will strive to teach our children a love for nature so that they will desire to protect it. We will strive to teach our children a respect for mankind so that they will desire to care for others. We will be good role models for our children so that stewardship becomes second nature for them as they grow.

There will be more here and there. These are our baby steps. This is what we can do now, this moment, even from our little plot of land in the suburbs. (Some day I will say, "even from our little farm with the chickens, goat and cows...")

But, until that day from the suburbs I shall do everything in my power to be a responsible consumer and a good steward.

The rest of the days....

2010-04-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

Did not pay for internet at the hotel and spent several fun days in San Antonio. Here are the snapshots of the Brabsons at the Westin La Cantera in and about San Antonio, Texas.

Passing up the Pail.

2010-04-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

We needed sand pails. It is not that we don't have them at home. We do, in mass. It is just that here we are at the beach and we needed some sand pales to build a castle. That is tradition, right?

Down the road on this rather small island are at minimum ten tourist shops complete with giant shark statue and all sorts of cheap goodies imported across the seas for our beach pleasure. Our plan was to head to said tourist shop and buy a sand pail.

And, doing so seemed rather innocent.

The more I thought about it, however, the more this small purchase began racking up numbers in my head. The amount of pollution here in Port Aransas has really got me thinking.

Buying a sand pail would mean spending ten dollars on something that we do not need.
Buying a sand pail would mean spending ten dollars on something that we are not going to be able to fly home with as their is not room in our luggage, and Momma is not carrying a bucket aboard the plane.
Buying a sand pail would mean making a purchasing of an item that was exported from across the sea contributing to significant carbon emissions and other pollutants in the very ocean I want to protect.
Buying a sand pail might also be supporting the big box factories in which employees work in miserable conditions and are paid in such a way that they can not overcome poverty.
Buying a sand pail, made of plastic, would mean buying something that would be around forever, long after our fun with it is through.

The long short of it is that buying a sand pail is a lot more than a $6.98 purchase. And, this time around using thoughtfulness and asking myself some tough questions I was able to determine that as much fun as it might yield it just was not worth the actual cost that my sand pail purchase would have on the environment.

But~ here is the cool part. You do not need an official sand pail to make a castle. Nor do you need plastic shoves, sifters, and gadgets with sea horses on them. Good old fashioned kitchen bowls, spoons, and tools work just fine. And, yes in the end, the castle that Moose and Daddy built did actually resemble a big pile of boobies. But as I always say (hehe) better more sand boobs in the world than less clean beaches to build them on.

ps...later we found a really cool sand pail with a tiny crack in the bottom that someone had thrown in the garbage. Trash to treasure, baby.

Port Aranas, Day 3

2010-04-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Music~ Really enjoying Aaron Crider, a new artist I found on Reverbnation.
Read~ Soaking up Green Mama and jotting down so many thoughts/ideas I can hardly be still.
Cooking~ Banana Smoothies and Grilling kabobs by the sea.